Chapter Five - ALEX: Introducing One Mad Family

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They handed me a letter at the end of the school day and were all like “Give it to your parents”. In all seriousness, who actually does that? Give your parents a letter that contains a million things that their child (namely, you) has done wrong. Yeah right. Now isn’t that a good idea? But seriously, envelopes can get ‘lost’ or ‘misplaced’ so easily. I could think of a million different ways to dispose of an unwanted letter. Which turned out to be pretty useful on my way home.

My youngest sister Hanna was already at our house with my mum.

“Hey Han!” I said, pulling her into a big hug.  Hanna is six, and by far the favourite out of my three siblings.

“Alex,” she hugged me back. “Me and my giraffe had a nice time at school today. Want to see what I made?”

“Sure.” I said as she dragged me over to a glittery goo mess. “So, what’s it meant to be?”

“I don’t know,” said Hanna, wide-eyed. “I wanted you to choose, so I left it.”

This is what I love about Hanna. She is such a thoughtful girl for age six; she is always offering me drawings and books and sometimes when I go to sleep at night, I’ll find one of her soft toys tucked, as a present, under my duvet.

I turned the picture sideways. “Well, if you look at it this way, it looks like a monster. If you turn it this way, it looks just like an ice-cream sundae. Which one do you think?” I asked

“Both.” said Hanna seriously, and then she pulled me back into the kitchen, where Mum was making biscuits. We snaffled a few that had just come out of the oven, when Mum’s back was turned, holding them in Hanna’s fairy tutu to stop our hands from getting scorched. We went upstairs to my bedroom and munched while I got changed, because the uniform at St. James’ has a horrible yellow green jumper, and the look is not improved by moth holes. I felt more relaxed once I was in jeans and a t-shirt.

“Kate’s coming over in ten” I told Hanna.

“Ten what?” she asked.

“Minutes” I said, and seeing confused look on her face, I added, “It’s time, you haven’t learnt that yet, have you?”

My younger sister’s toy giraffe shook its head. “It means Kate will be here soon, okay?” I amended, so that Hanna could understand.

She jumped up. “Yay!” she cried. “Jaffy likes Kate!” Hanna and Jaffy twirled all over the room, well as much as a giraffe can twirl. Which, it turns out, is enough to make any six-year-old that has just wolfed down ten biscuits, very dizzy indeed.

Hanna and I went downstairs after that and we found my brother Luke, who is ten, playing on the Wii.

“Hey Luke,” I said, sitting down on the sofa, “how was school?” Luke grunts as a reply. “Do anything fun?” I pressed further. Luke threw down the Wii remote.

“Alex, will you just shut up, you made me fail that game!” he said, annoyed, indicating to the screen, where the flashing words ‘You Lose’ were written.

“Charming,” I said. “Just to let you know, Kate’s coming round in five minutes, so can we have the TV?”

Luke looked at my face carefully. “No.” he stated firmly, as he hugged the remote. I shrugged like I couldn’t care less, but Hanna found this unfair.

“But Alex has a guest!” she protested. “Mum says that we should always give guests what they want, Luke!”

“I don’t care.” He said smugly. “It’s mine and you’re not having it.”

“Mu-um!” Hanna yelled into the kitchen, “Luke’s hogging the TV!”

Mum appeared in the doorway, evidently displeased. “Luke,” she said “Will you give Alex the TV when Kate gets here?’

“Yes Mum” Luke mumbled.

“Good.” She said, then, studying the crumbs on my t-shirt, “Alex, where did the rest of the biscuits go?” Quick question: why are all mothers blessed with psychic powers?

“Ani ate them” I quickly lied. “And brushed the crumbs on me to make it look like I had.”

Ani, christened Annabeth, was the oldest, the Goth of the family at age fifteen. She hated everyone, except Mum and Dad, or that’s what she said. She has straight black hair and wore buckets of makeup on her face every single day. I hoped Mum wouldn’t find my story too far fetched. After all, Ani was the biggest troublemaker out of the four of us.

Mum stared at me disbelievingly until Hanna piped up “It’s true Mum, she did!”

“All right Hanna” Mum said, ruffling her youngest daughter’s hair, then she stepped out of the room, into the hallway.

“Ani,” we all heard her call upstairs, “can you down here a moment?” Hanna looked at me, and I looked back at her. “I love my sister.” I thought. Then, slowly and deliberately, she winked at me.

Kate and I had a lot of fun. Mum totally swallowed the story I told her, and there was nothing that Ani could say, or do, in her own defence. Also, I think Mum likes Kate. She says that Kate is “a good influence on me” or something to that effect, anyway.

We made plasticine animals with Hanna.  Hanna made a unicorn, Kate a dragon, and I, a sabre-tooth tiger. During this, Ani threw stuff around a lot upstairs and Luke stayed glued to the Wii. What else is new?

After Kate had gone, Hanna and I were forced by our mother to tidy up the kitchen. This was a hard task; there were pieces of modelling clay everywhere from the fight we’d had with our creatures (Kate’s dragon lost, and there were bits of it scattered everywhere). We were just picking up the stuff when I suddenly went dizzy. Staggering, I clutched at the nearest chair, and then blacked out. Hanna told me afterwards that I had started squishing plasticine up and throwing it furiously against the wall, but I really don’t remember. Then my senses came back, and I noticed Hanna staring at me, and all the multi-coloured blobs stuck onto the cupboard wall. What had happened? What had I done?

Hanna, seeing how confused I was, came over and hugged me. “Don’t worry Alex,” she said calmly, “I wont tell anyone.” And cool as a cucumber, she started pulling the stuff of the wall.

A/N: Whoa-oh-oh, Nothing left to say now, Whoa-oh-oh, nothing left to say now. giving up, giving up, eh eh giving up now. giving up, giving up eh eh giving up now.

who knows how long ive been awake now

the shadows on my wall don't sleep

they keep calling me, beckoning

who knows what's right the lights keep getting thinner,

my age has never made me wise

i just keep moving on and on and on and o-on

Whoa-oh-oh, Nothing left to say now, Whoa-oh-oh, nothing left to say now. giving up, giving up, eh eh giving up now. giving up, giving up eh eh giving up now.

sorry. i got a bit carried away. what i meant is... i cant really think of what to write for this authors note. or who to dedicate to. so bye!

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