𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 : 𝐣𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐭

⇰ wyatt

"You guys already kissed? On the first date? That was quick." I overhear Finn laugh out as him, Sophia, and Jack all talk to the new kid, Noah.

My heart sinks as I realize Jaeden has already moved on. How could he move on so quickly?

I thought he still loved me. I guess I was wrong.

I don't even want to finish this school day. I don't think I can.

I grab my backpack and rush out of the classroom. I can hear the teacher calling out my name angrily, but I don't care.

I barge out of the school's front doors and am met with pouring rain. God, I am so sick of this fucking rain.

As I walk home in the freezing cold rain, I begin to feel numb. The tears that have been falling down my face just become apart of the rain, and the rain that has been pouring down on me isn't even there anymore. I can't feel anything. I don't want to feel anything.

If my only purpose doesn't even want me anymore, why am I still here? These past few weeks I've been waiting for something, anything from Jaeden, and all I get is the message that he's moved on. I now know that the only thing I've ever wanted doesn't want me anymore.

This whole thing, this whole incident with Jaeden has gone by in a blink of an eye.

We admit our feelings for one another,

we date,

then we crash and burn.

He's the one who's able to move on, while I'm still hanging on to something that I'll never get back. I can't move on from Jaeden, I love him too much.

I know one day I'm eventually going to have to move on, but deep in my heart I know that I never will.

Whoever I marry won't receive all of my love. Jaeden will.

Wherever he goes in life, he'll still have my heart.

He'll still have all of my love.

Only him.

I don't even want to picture myself marrying anyone else, I want to picture myself marrying Jaeden. I want us to live our own little happy ever after. But, you can't always get what you want, right?

I could've had all of that, though, if I wasn't so fucking stupid. I caused this for myself, I'm the reason he's gone. My moping and complaining isn't going to fix what I did. My endless wishes to turn back time and make everything right isn't going to bring Jaeden back. Nothing is going to bring him back. I ruined everything for us. I ruin everything.

As I open the door to my house, I instantly walk up to my room and head straight for the bathroom. I open the medicine cabinet and grab a small cup along with some Tylenol.

"An adult should not take more than 4000 mg of acetaminophen a day. Taking more, especially 7000 mg or more, can lead to a severe overdose if not treated." I read the back of the small bottle slowly, not caring much for its information.

I pop the cap open and poor about a handful of the white pills in my hand. Without a second thought, the small cup is soon filled with water, and the pills are traveling down my throat.

I stumble to my bed and grab my phone. Instead of calling Jaeden, I dial Finn's number and call him.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

No answer. Of course.

"Hey Finn Wolfhard," I start, sounding almost as if I was drunk.

I sniffle and wipe a falling tear away from my cheek. I walk back into the bathroom and grab the bottle of pills.

"I'm sorry." I choke out with a forced laugh.

I sound absolutely crazy, and I don't think it's because of the pills. I think over the past few weeks without Jaeden, I've just completely lost myself. When the only thing that matters about me leaves, I loose whatever is left.

I hang up and let myself lazily walk back into my room. I collapse on my bed and sigh heavily.

Am I really doing this? Am I really going to end my life because of some boy?

Then again, Jaeden isn't just some boy to me.

He's my everything. I won't deny that I've completely let myself go with this, but when the only thing you've ever really cared about hates you, what else can you do?

I hear my phone begin to ring, and I smile to myself as I realize it's Finn. He may have punched me in the nose and told me that I should rot in hell, but before all of this, he was a great friend.

If I succeed, I'll definitely miss him. He was like a brother to me. Someone I could always count on.

The ringing continues to go on as I feel myself getting sleepier and sleepier. It's almost like a lullaby.

Before I can feel myself fall asleep completely, before my eyes close for good, I see a very blurry, familiar boy barge into my room. He's screaming my name over and over, but it's too late.

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two updates in one day ?? i should be asleep. i really need to sleep. but oh well.