𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 : 𝐣𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐭

⇰ wyatt

"Okay Wyatt Oleff, you're going to go down to Jaeden's house right now and you are going to talk to him. A little bit of mental preparation is all you need, and you'll be good to go." I mumble to myself as I look at my reflection in the mirror.

I've been having a full on discussion with myself in this bathroom for the past hour, and I'm really starting to concern myself.

I slowly walk back into my dark, cold bedroom and begin to pace around. I've been talking to myself for the past two hours, and it's not really getting me anywhere.

I've thought about having Finn, Jack, or Sophia come over to help prepare me for this, but then I decided that this is something I need to figure out on my own. This is my problem, and I need to deal with it by myself. I've had enough help, it's time I fix all of this.

It's time I fix what I've broken.

I look over at my clock that reads 9:43pm. I bite at my thumb and feel myself begin to shake violently.

I'm not going to lie, I'm absolutely petrified to go see Jaeden. I mean, I wasn't even facing Jaeden in that hallway today and I was still horrified. Imagine me actually being face to face with him. That's going to be an actual hot mess.

The only question, and the only thought on my mind right now is,

"What if Jaeden doesn't want to see me?"

What if when I get there, and he sees it's me, he just shuts the door on my face.

What do I do then?

Do I beg for him to come out and talk to me?

Or do I walk away and forget it even happened?

Should I had done that in the first place?

Just forget any of this happened?

Forget about everything Jaeden and I shared, everything we were?

Sometimes I think that would've been easier. To just forget. Because then, I wouldn't have anything to bed sad about. I wouldn't be mourning over anyone, because I wouldn't even remember Jaeden. I wouldn't know anything of his existence.

But, since Jaeden is such a big part of my life, and since he's made such a big impact, even if I did forget, I would always feel a pit of emptiness in my heart where Jaeden should've been.

I look out of my window to see it's raining again. Of course. I swear it never ends.

I walk over to my closet and pull out a jacket that just so happened to belong to Jaeden. It never quite fit me right, but I wore it anyway. Jaeden always laughed when I did because it always looked like "baby clothes" on me since Jaeden has such a small, skinny body.

I slipped it on and ran back to my bathroom, quickly looking at myself in the mirror, then running down stairs to the front door. I take a halt at the door and freeze as I reach for the doorknob. Am I really doing this? Am I really about to go confront Jaeden?

I take a deep, shaky breath and slow myself down. I flip the hood on and open up the door, revealing the pouring rain. I hesitantly take a step out and slowly close the door behind me, stalling myself as I'm still not keen to the idea of seeing Jaeden.

I continue to very slowly walk off my front porch and onto the soaking wet sidewalk. I begin to walk down the street as the freezing cold rain only pours down on me harder.

I try to distract myself from the heavy feeling of fear weighing on my shoulders by attempting to think of happier memories. But unfortunately, all of them are about Jaeden. I sigh heavily and shake my head, wishing my mind was just blank right now.

As I'm getting closer to Jaeden's house, I keep thinking I should just go back to mine and forget I ever had the idea of doing this. I want more than anything to be able to do this, but I'm afraid he just doesn't want to see me.

I'm scared that if I can actually bring myself to face him and I don't back out, I'll just end up bawling and I won't be able to get a word out. But, he'll understand if that happens, right?

I watch my feet as they patter over the small puddles forming on the ground. Looking back up, I count down the houses to Jaeden's.

Five more houses,

four more houses,

three more houses,

two more houses,

one.

I stop and stand in front of the familiar, two-storied house. This house has so many memories, both sad and happy.

We've had countless sleepovers here,
we've celebrated birthdays and holidays here,
we've even had a pregnant dog here.

It wasn't Jaeden's, but it was still here.

We've shared secrets here,
we've fought here,
and we've loved here.

I can't think of anything we haven't done here, and that just makes me smile. I can't lose this, I can't lose Jaeden. Everything we've done here, everything I've done with Jaeden, and everything I've shared with him, I just can't imagine myself having all of that taken away.

I walk towards his front door, immediately feeling my heart begin to race with nervousness. My tears are starting to form, already falling down my cheeks as they mix with the rain. My lips are dry, and I can feel my throat beginning to burn. Here we go.

I hold my breath as I gently knock three times. I'm not breathing, my breath is still held in with all of the words I've yet to say to Jaeden. I can hear feet slowly approaching the door, they're getting closer and closer by the second.

Three steps closer,

two steps closer,

one more step.

The door swings open, and I watch as Jaeden's eyes basically pop out of his head.

His lips are parted and he's trying to speak but he just can't.

His expression goes from shocked to sad in seconds, and I'm already afraid my fears are about to come true.

I'm preparing myself for that door to close, I'm preparing myself to go home and cry myself to sleep over again for the rest of my life, but I'm shocked and relieved to have Jaeden speak up after moments of rain being the only thing you could hear.

"W-Wyatt..." He breaths out as if he was holding in his breath.

"Jaeden." I say back, finally allowing myself to breath.

He smiles sadly at me, his own eyes brimming with tears. When he had opened the door, it seemed he had already been crying.

He's paler than usual, his eyes are incredibly red, and he looks like he hasn't slept in weeks. I can't say anything, though. The moment he opened the door for me, I bet he was thinking I looked just as awful.

We stand in an uncomfortable silence, both of us not quite knowing what needs to be said.

"I..." I start, already feeling myself choking on my words. I sniffle harshly and wipe my eyes roughly.

"I-I'm s-so, so s-sorry, J-Jaeden." I stutter out, my bottom lip quivering and my whole body shaking uncontrollably.

Jaeden's sympathetic smile remains as his own tears fall down his face at an alarming rate. There's another short silence before he speaks up again, but barely above a whisper.

"Me too."