My Strange (Love¿) Story

Part 1

I walked up to the lower ground of the engineering building to where my computer class was located. A large crowd of students were gathered in individual circles, bursting with enthusiastic chatter. It was the first day of this course and I knew nobody in my section. Feeling friendless I began texting a close friend of mine from High school, Sara. As an insecure Indian 18 year old all I could think about in that moment was the little hairs growing on my upper lip and how anti-feminie I felt. Just then I saw a boy coming out of the crowd, taking long strides towards me. After debating if he was really coming up to me, unfortunately he looked me right in my eye. He smiled, shook my hand and introduced himself to me. I noticed a group of guys in the crowd looking towards us and laughing. The nervous wreck that I was, just shook his hand, laughed at his face and asked him if it was a dare. He seemed confused, said yes and just left after an awkward pause.

I felt like I will never master the art of making friends. I texted Sara all this and she told me I probably did look feminine after all. He was cute but had a small build and may have been slightly shorter than me.

I didn't think about this for months. However he just so happen to get off at the same stop as me. One time he walked into the subway cart as I was reading a book and sat right in front of me. I looked up and he saw me and we had awkward eye contact, the kind where you are trying to avoid looking but you still end up doing it and regret sets in that instant. He got up and moved farther up the subway cart where his friends were sitting.

After a number of such awkward interactions I began to form feelings. I realized this after the Christmas break when I came back and saw him again. This boy that I thought wouldn't be a good fit for me because of minor things like his height and his slim figure now became a new fascination for me. I spent years hoping that he'll approach me and tell me that he felt the same way. I was disappointed. I was in fourth year of my degree and he remained a stranger. A stranger that could pain me by simply not being around. I felt like a lunatic stalker although I never intentionally tried to stalk him. I promise.

From what little I knew about him, I had a feeling he wouldn't be staying back for an extra year like me. It was finally time I would get to move on. Something I couldn't do as long as he was around.