fifteen

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why do i keep torturing myself?

am i masochist?

do i like to hurt myself?

does pain give me pleasure?

this feeling never goes away

no matter how hard i push

but even if  i allowed it to stay

it does not mean that it gets me

a happily ever after

how could he like someone

who's into girls?

even if she never really did 

like them in the first place?

the idea is so preposterous

i don't even understand anything anymore

he will never feel the same

so stop hoping

because

hope

never did anything good for me

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