Short Stories Of A Complex Aggressive

The Last Page First

    When I read a book I tend to read the last page first. Its not that I want to know what happens ahead of time its just that I want to see what I should be preparing for in the book. Truth is you never really understand the last page like you do once you have read the entire book. What if the book keeps changing its last sentence because it keeps adding chapters? Thats exactly what life is like. So in this book I decided to give you the last page first, that way you can save the  energy if your anything like me of skipping to the last page of the last chapter and if your not and read more traditional first to back you have just encountered something different.  Well I guess I'm different I always have been I always will be and I'm okay with that. Different the definition of that word is : Not the same as another or each other; unlike in nature, form, or quality. That definitely describes me! If the world loves something most likely I don't and if I do I fine the world to finally be on my page. Call me slightly arrogant, some do. Hi my name is Rachel. ***PSA most names have been changed in this book of TRUE stories due to people getting sensitive and shit*** however,  My name is Real . The name once again is Rachel.

    They say you reap what you sew but that cant be true for I have sewed a lot feel free to laugh at that last statement.  If this had to be my last chapter id like it to be filled with all I have learned this far. Things like pain of your first heart break really doesn't last forever, Sometimes walking away is the only thing that can save you, and what's good for one person does not have to be good for another are easily learned AFTER the fact instead of before or during that's fine there are plenty of stories in here that show an example of that.

   My last page I guess would start with the simple sentence I AM 34. Why that sentence because I cant believe it myself. I am 34 maybe if I say it over and over then I will start to believe it. I'm not at my lowest but I'm at the lowest I have been in a while. You see I'm jobless . Well so is 48 percent of America. Well why I'm jobless is the issue. I was a manager at a Ihop. Not the best job but it was my job. I went through a lot in this particular profession which I'm sure  ill get to at some point in this book and lets just say sticking up for myself would leave me here jobless. If any one has ever been jobless then they understand the time line that takes place. First your like mad or hurt you damn the job, then its like you wake up and you realize you have no job, the tears come and you go back into being pissed off. You quickly get into vacation mode especially if you have worked as many hours as I have. Then you come into the place I like to call Who the hell am I. That's where I am people who the hell am I. My last page wouldn't be sad although I'm pretty sad. My last page if ending on where I am right now in who the hell am I rode across the street from how did I get here  would start and end in happiness and excitement.

    I feel I'm right at the good part of life where after all the looking and searching for answers you either find them or understand you may not never receive the answers you need. So what do you do when you have lost your job (which in most cases gives a sense of who you are to the world) what do you do when you feel wronged and feel like you have no more pages left to your book? You reinvent your self. You totally change what you thought you knew and know unless there has been concreate evidence whatever it is should take up space in your heart and or mind. I'm reinventing myself of course I did this once before many times actually but this time feel different. Does it feel different due to age? Is it because getting fired or quitting depending how one would look at it gave me the strength to leave something behind that was no good for my heart, my life, and my health. I thought I learned that lesson before !?! Again I trust examples are coming of me holding on to tight to whatever it may be or who it may be.

     Back to my last first page. Where was I? Oh yes the good part. I am a 34 year old woman who has overcome many obstacles such as being openly gay, Christian, a black female in a white world, all while being slightly smarter then my ghetto peers  (shout out to  Brooklyn). So my last line of my last first page would simply be "I told you so Bitches!"