Forbidden Love

Chapter 2

I finally made it to the grocery store. I kept thinking about what my mom said about Derrick and I. Maybe I don't want to admit that I may have feelings towards him because he makes me feel courageous and beautiful in ways that Roger couldn't. It's crazy, but I don't want to get romantically involved with Derrick, even though I admire him from a distance. So many things to think about, but I know that I love Roger with all of my heart despite his shortcomings. As I started walking towards the cash register, I saw Derrick again. I swear we always bump into each other coincidentally, but I would always tease him saying that he needs to stop stalking me. "Hey, again", I said while tapping on his shoulder. He smiled and when he smiles I could see that beautiful dimple on the right side of his face. I can't even lie, there would be times that I would stare at his dimple because they looked adorable and I was the only person that was allowed to see them. "Hey, Chris. We need to stop meeting each other like this", he said while teasing me. I laughed a little bit every time he would tease me. We just had that mutual understanding of each other when it came to our friendship. "What are you doing here at the store? I thought you said that you would never be caught shopping in this place, even if you ran out of food", I said while rolling my eyes.

Derrick continued to smile that dashing smile that could make a girl's knees get weak. It was the type of smile that showed beauty, but pain all at the same time. "Well, my dad sent me to go grocery shopping for the house before we head to New York", said Derrick. "Alright. I'm sorry about earlier. I should've called you about not meeting me at my house to work on our senior project", I said. I always had a habit of forgetting important shit, but when things aren't that important I would remember those more than anything. I guess I pay attention to small details, instead of the specifics. "It's cool. I'm not upset with you. I understand if you had things going on. I should've called you before coming over to your house. Also, your mom is pretty fucking awesome", he said with a devilish smirk. "I would think that you have a crush on my mother by the way you are looking", I said. He burst out laughing at me. He couldn't contain his laughter no matter how hard he tried. I didn't think it was that funny, but he was laughing so hard that he was in tears. "Trust me, if your mom was my age I wouldn't have minded dating her, but I wouldn't mind dating her beautiful creation that she gave birth to", he said after gaining his composure.

I don't understand how those words had so much effect on me. Those words made me melt on the inside and I almost forgot that I was in a relationship with Roger. I never felt like this, even though I've been dating Roger for two years now. "Do I make you nervous, Chris?", he asked while slowly walking towards me. "No, you don't make me nervous. It's just your words kind of took me off guard.", I said trying to keep a distance between us. The more I would walk back, the more he would walk closer to me to close the distance. I can't deny the chemistry we have between each other, but I don't want to hurt Roger. "Ummmmm I need to go. I'm going on a date with Roger tonight. I have to go home to get ready.", I said. I was trying my hardest to sound confident, but it was like I couldn't breathe. How can this guy have that type of effect on me? Roger stopped walking towards me and that beautiful dazzling smile left his face as if that smile never existed. "Well, I'm sorry. I'll see you around.", he said. His tone of voice changed from being playful to being stern. I wasn't sure if I hurt his feelings, but I was a little upset with myself because at one point I was the person that made him smile, but now I'm the person that took his smile away.

I walked to the cash register to check out all of my items. I was trying to look for Derrick, but he disappeared in thin air. One minute he was standing outside the door of the store and now he's gone. I don't even know why I care so much that I hurt him by bringing up Roger like that. I want to be faithful to Roger no matter what, but I didn't want to hurt Derrick the way that I did. Seeing Derrick's smile leave his face breaks my heart a bit because I always told him that I will be the one to make him smile even if things become difficult. Now, I hurt him. I wish I could see him smile one more time, but I know that that's not going to happen no time soon after what I did. I rode my bike quickly home. I didn't want to keep Roger waiting any longer than he needs to. I definitely don't want my mom to say anything to Roger about Derrick showing up to the house. Every time I mention Derrick's name, Roger would get so upset that it leads to us getting into an argument. I just wish that he would stop with his insecurities and passive aggressive attitude towards me. It sometimes bothers me when Roger gets upset because I don't know how well he can control his anger around me. It scares me sometimes, but I don't want him to think that I'm afraid of him when I'm trying to stay close to him, to his heart.

I finally arrived home. I saw Roger standing outside the house waiting for me to come home. I hope my mom didn't make him wait for me outside because I know how ridiculous my mother can be at times. "Roger, why are you waiting outside? Did my mom make you wait outside for me?", I asked. "No. I chose to wait out here. Your mom was being nice to me, I just wanted to wait outside because I have something to say to you.", he said in a stern voice. His tone took me by surprise because he never talked like that to me. "What is it about?", I asked. "Christina, I love you with all of my heart, but I don't think this relationship is going to work. You're going to go off to college in New York City and I don't think I could deal with being in a long distance relationship with you." said, Roger. I could feel my heart breaking. I felt my chest aching and I was trying to catch my breath. "Why would you want to break up with me? I don't start NYU until August and our senior year is over within one month. So, why are you breaking up with mer?", I asked. I was starting to get upset the more I looked at him. I loved him when others kept telling me that he has a bad temper and when he was dealing with shit with his parents, mostly his father. I was there, standing by his side through all of the things he was going through. Now he wants to end it between us. 

"Christina, I just feel like we need to call it quits. You mean a lot to me, it's just I can't deal with this anymore. I know that you have feelings towards Derrick, even if you don't want to admit it. You always hang out with him, but you never make time for me. I just can't deal with feeling like I second best to that jerk. He may have money, but he's a dangerous person. But you continue to hang out with him. I saw you two together at the grocery store and I saw how you were looking at him. It was the way you looked at him that made me realize that you never looked at me the same way.", he said. I didn't understand why he would feel that way. I didn't do anything with Derrick. Yes, he flirted with me, but I never allowed him to get that close to me knowing that I was in a relationship with Roger. "Are you fucking serious? I love you, Roger. Derrick is just my friend. You have no idea how much shit I took from this stupid town when I first moved here. The girls at our high school aren't even my friends, they are yours. I didn't say anything when that bitch, Jessica told me that you and she slept together three weeks ago. I stood there and took up for you. Hell, I even trusted you enough to believe that you wouldn't do that to me.", I said as tears were slowly falling from my eyes. 

His eyes started to get wide after I brought Jessica. "The truth is, Jessica and I did have sex with each other. I didn't know that she was going to tell you.", said Roger in a nonchalant manner. "Are you fucking serious right now? You slept with Jessica?! You piece of shit and to think that I was faithful despite everything. You know what, just leave. Get the fuck off my property and don't you ever show your face before me ever again, Roger!!!", I said. Roger tried to walk towards me, but Derrick showed up just in the nick of time. "The lady said to leave.",he said. Roger had a smirk on his face as he looked at Derrick. "Have a good life, Christina." said, Roger. He walked away and I just felt my legs collapse under me. "Chris, are you ok? Let me help you up ok," said Derrick. He picked me up in bridal style and carried me into the house. "Oh my god! Is she ok?" asked mom. "Not really. I think Roger broke up with her and she just collapsed after he left," said Derrick.  "Ok. I'll show you to her room so that you can lay her down." said mom.

I just cried while my body was curled in Derrick's arms. He placed me on my bed gently. "Chris, everything will ok. Don't worry about that asshole. He doesn't deserve you nor does he deserve your tears." he said. I continued to cry. Derrick kissed me on my forehead and walked out of my room. I just want to sleep and forget about this night. I hate that I stood by Roger and he would do something like this to me. I should've known that he was cheating on me the entire time in our relationship because he was starting to be very secretive and to top it off he cheated on me with Jessica, the girl that never liked me. When I first moved to this small town, Jessica was the first person that would bully me during my 10th-grade year. No one stood up for me, except Roger. Roger was so kind to me and he always made me feel loved. He would make me laugh and he would stand up for me whenever Jessica would bully me everyday. Now that we started our senior year, Roger stopped doing things for me that he use to. I blame myself for everything. I lost my virginity to him and he went behind my back to have sex with Jessica. It hurts so much to know that I wasted my time on Roger and gave up on someone like Derrick. Tonight I just want to be alone and sleep because I know that tomorrow I will have to go to school to face everyone at school and be humiliated by everyone after they find out that Roger dumped me.