The Pain You Took Away

Two

                   

Today started just like every other day. My eyelids peeled their way over my corneas leaving a trail of crust behind. I have between three and four seconds of peace and tranquillity before dread fills my body. It starts in my toes and slithers its way up until it takes over my mind, as if it was a snake creeping up on its prey. Why has the human body not created antibodies to fight off these deadly thoughts?

The duvet was tangled in-between my legs and my pillows were on the floor. My pyjamas were soaking wet. Sleep does not bring me any respite. My nights are plagued by nightmares.

I looked outside, rain fell angrily from the sky and splashed onto the pavement darkening the concrete. Small streams flanked both sides of the empty road. The sky was a deep grey, the shade that unsettled you. If the clock didn't say it was 9am I wouldn't have believed it was the day time. An old man with wiry silver hair walked swiftly past my window. His eyes were focused on the ground. He was dragging his solemn looking dog behind him. Neither one of them wanted to be outside. I could hear the sound of running water. One of the only things that brought me peace and let my mind escape itself.

I was running. I could feel the soft mudded track beneath my bare feet. The water in the river rushed downstream quickly. It was as if it feared mother nature would punish it for not moving fast enough. Each water droplet helping the next avoid protruding rocks. Small fish were whisked away along with loose sediment.

Crickets could be heard in the nearby foliage. The trees stood tall and proud with all of their branches intertwined creating twisting and turning arms which didn't seem to end. Their branches were decorated with thick green leaves that sat comfortably basking in the sun.

The sun shone here. Its beams bounced around playfully, reflecting rainbow colours off any splash the river created.

My phone rang. It was Kevin. My heart stopped beating. This was the moment.