My Version: A Book of Poetry

False Smile

I fell in love.

It was a cliché love.

One at First sight, as if a fantasy world come to life.

~

I knew within that instance, that it was impossible.

I wanted you, but I knew that I couldn't have you.

~

The first time we spoke, it was as if I was in a daze.

Everything seemed to be in slow motion.

My heart pounding so fast.

Silently holding my breath, to keep myself from freaking out.

~

When you offered Friendship, I almost literally jumped at the chance.

Even if I wasn't able to admit my feelings out loud,

The simple idea of being close to you, made my heart soar.

~

Years passed.

I'd always known if I didn't make a move, I'd loose my chance.

You looked to me, and I simply smiled.

~

And yet, I could never go through with a single attempt.

It made me question myself, and wonder....

Why was this so hard?

Why couldn't I spit it out when the time came?

Am I really in love with him?

Or simply.... Infatuated?

~

It's been really hard to tell.

Though, I'm sure that its love.

The thought of you, puts a smile on my face.

The sight, remains to make my heart race.

I become pained whenever I imagine life without you.

I want you to get what you work hard for.

I always wish you the best.

When I'm away from you, it makes me want to go where you are.

~

And the day you came to me, to tell me you finally found someone you could love....

It was as if I shattered inside, as a piece of me quietly died off.

Slow and Painful.

My Hopes of someday confessing,

Or even being in a relationship, outside of friendship had vanished.

I'd gotten the instant feeling that I've got nothing left.

You looked at me, and I simply smiled.

~

So I'll stand from afar, as I watch you - watching the one you love.

I'll fake a smile so you won't see, the misery that dwells deep within me.

~

Created on September 12, 2015