Destiel: The hidden demons

4

Deans POV

The pain of being away from you is unbearable. Cas just leave already . I seem okay on the outside but deep down I'm hurting. I was doing ok. Just drowning my feelings deep in my soul. Cas isn't the problem, he just contributed.

This is my fault, but what my dad said to me just pushed me over the edge.

Being excepted by him is everything. I guess he doesn't care he's not even here. Sam needs me but dad's no-where to be found. He never wants anything to do with him or me. I thought he would accept me for who I am but no it's some a huge deal instead of being a minor problem

If he wants the perfect son why doesn't he start sleeping around with every woman in site and compare every single one of the boys till he has that perfect solider he always "needed"

Ye right. "you always need to be alert and watch out for Sammy." What does he know about taking care of him if he really cared wouldn't be here with us as a family not off on some hunt trying to find the thing that killed mum so he can have his revenge, while he rips the last strings that are holding this family together.

Would my mum accept me for me? I wonder

It's not my fault I'm like this

What have it done to my self

"Cas you need to leave" I randomly said out of nowhere

"why?"

"I just need to be alone right now" I said with no emotion in my voice what so ever

"okay, just call if you need anything, I mean anything okay"

I wasn't sure what he meant be 'anything'

'just don't over thing it okay you finally get to be alone' I thought to myself, damn it Sam is still here

"Ye sure thing Cas, bye"

Cas left now I just got to get Sam out of the house

"hey Sammy" I shouted from my room

"yes dean?"

"um, can you go to the store and buy some pie and maybe dinner?"

"ye sure"

"Okay but make sure you remember the pie"

"yes, dean I will remember the pie"

"bye"

"bye"

Yes, I finally get time alone with my heavenly poison that will one day be the death of me. Why did I say yes to you I wish I could go back in time to fix what I've done  I know I shouldn't but it's too late to go back now.

I know I shouldn't but I couldn't resist.