crestfallen // joji x reader

18.

a/n - i actually hate this book lmao; also my friend told me that when i first started writing this i made main character work at a clothing store and now it's a coffee shop but whatever idc lmao. i like coffee shop better??

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joji sat there, his eyes wide as i let tears fall down my eyes. i knew my dad has tons of medical problems and i knew that if my mom wanted me to fly down, then it must be bad.

"please tell me what's wrong, (y/n)," joji begged.

i sniffled then said, "i don't really know. something's wrong with my dad, and if my mom needs me there q-quick, then it's really bad."

joji pulled me into his arms, making me feel secure. the dark hair on his arms brushed against my skin and i closed my eyes, leaning into his warmth. he buried his nose into my hair and i knew his eyes had closed, too.

"well, can you go visit him?" joji asked, worry clearly coating his voice.

"n-no. i'm broke and i haven't made songs in forever so i'm not making a lot of money, especially since i've been so absent from the coffee shop," it hurt to speak.

joji didn't say anything for a second before gently pushing me off of him, with a meager smile on his face.

"i could buy the tickets," joji said, his smile growing slightly.

"what? joji-no i can't have you do that. plane tickets are freaking expensive," my eyes drooped.

"(y/n). i make music and i'm still earning money off of it. it's alright. i care about you and your family," joji said, not sounding like joji anymore.

"joji..." i continued, but i was stopped when joji pressed his lips to mine.

i leaned towards him, melting into it, before pulling away.

"(y/n). i promise," joji repeated, his face flushed from the quick bit of affection.

i nodded, then let joji wrap his arms around me, pulling me in between his legs. i sat back, and flipped on the tv as joji scrolled through his phone. i was so, so emotionally drained. a few interesting channels came on, but i didn't care, and switched to another channel almost instantly.

"what're you doing?" i asked joji, finally getting bored of the tv.

"looking for cheap plane tickets," he moved one of his hands to my wrist, and made circles on my skin with his thumb.

"i'm going to put in money."

"no- you literally just said you were broke. no."

i heard joji giggle, and a smile cracked upon my face.

"i'm not homeless though. i can still put in some money."

"you will be homeless if you put in money."

i turned my head slightly, only to see if joji was smiling. and he was. he had a beautiful smile placed upon his beautiful lips that fit perfectly on his beautiful face. my head turned forward again, and i grabbed joji's hand in mine, and intertwined our fingers. he continued to rub circles on my skin.

i felt my eyelids get droopy and heavy, until finally, they shut and i drifted off to sleep.

~~

a soft snore woke me and i opened my eyes to find myself in my bedroom. and the snoring next to me was joji. i roll over onto my side and face him, then whisper joji until i can see his eyelids open slightly.

"whattt," joji drags out the 't'.

"wake up, lol."

"lol."

"maybe lol can be our always," i whisper, jokingly.

he snorts, then reaches out his hand, motioning for me to scoot closer to him. i rolled over and landed in between his arms. he squeezed me softly, and i let a small chuckle escape my lips. then reality hit me, and my dad rammed his way back into my head. my head felt heavy and i let it fall onto joji's arm, as i tried to keep tears from pushing their way out.

joji reached out the hand that was on top of me and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. i really was living in a fairy tale when i'm around joji. 

"do you want to do anything, or just sleep?" joji inquired, his voice musky.

"we should do something- inside though because it's freaking cold outside," i answer his question.

"we shall do something inside then."

"yes we shall."

i let joji lift his arms off of me and i climb off the bed after him. we make our way out to my living room. joji plops down on the couch and i head to my small closet to grab a board game out. i find monopoly, and brush the small amount of dust that lay on it, off.

"monopoly?" i ask, a smirk on my face.

"oh no," joji says, a smile on his.

i walk over to him, and clear off the ottoman. i sat the box in the middle, then took the lid off, so i could set up the game. characters and directions lay inside of it.

"i don't even know how to play," joji chuckles.

"just grab a character and we'll go from there," i explain.

joji reaches in and grabs out a boot, then i reach in and grab out a thimble. i hand the directions to joji and he throws them aside.

"i don't like directions. can you explain it," he whines, a smile still upon his lips. 

"okay, so roll the dice. whatever number you get, it's land, and when you get land that has never been owned you can buy it from the bank," i begin to explain, as i watch joji take his turn.

~~

we finish one round of monopoly, and i win. me winning results in me dancing around the living room, yelling "i won. i won. i won!". joji sat back on the couch, and laughed as i danced around him. i made my fourth lap around the couch, before he grabbed my hand and pulled me onto his lap. i squeaked, then i followed it with a laugh as my eyes met with his gorgeous chocolate ones.

"yes, i know, you win," joji says, rubbing his nose softly against mine.

i laugh, then press his lips to mine and we both melt into our kiss, smiles pressed upon our faces as well. happiness swirled through my body, while sadness, and anxiety mixed with it as well. i could never let the sad things go, even for two seconds. 

painful, is the exact word to describe how that felt.