{Saru Fushimi x Misaki Yata} All Because Of Me

I Remember

{ANOTHER NOTE!}

(Any depressing thoughts in here are purely fictional and I don't want anyone to think that this was written from personal experience it is only part of this story, cutting is not something you should do to yourself, because people who care about you don't want to see you hurt, if you hurt yourself it can hurt them just as much as it hurt you) - Kaito-san

Yata's P.O.V

   After Mikoto died I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. He had been like the brother I had never had. The one that had replaced, DON'T THINK ABOUT HIM, Saruhiko. FUCK. I don't want to remember him at all. But yet all I wanted to do was to talk to him, to tell him I was sorry for everything. 

It was almost as if Mikoto leaving had broken my wall of built up feelings, and now all my feelings were pouring out in blood. But they were. My wrists were bloody and covered in the cuts I had carved into my skin. A knife lay bloodied on the edge of my dirty sink. My arms were stinging and burning. I cried, gripping the edge of the peeling sink and wailed, not even caring who heard. My tears mixed with the blood that was in the sink. I was alone. No one loved me ,no one cared. Ever since Mikoto had died the red clan had split, the only ones who were really at the bar anymore were Izumo and Anna. However whenever I walked in I was never greeted by a friendly smile or a request to talk, Izumo just sat a polished his crystal glasses, and Anna was always sleeping now. No one asked anymore where the scars were coming from. Rikio had also left and there was no trace of him. Whenever I went out to clear his head he no longer saw Rikio in his favorite food spots or trying to hook up with girls. he was just gone.  Everyone was. I missed the family I had. Thats why I was crying. My family was gone. 

"WHY DID THEY ALL LEAVE!", I cried, "WHY? AFTER EVERYTHING!",I slumped to the floor still crying . Sure for me it was out of character and different. But I couldn't help it, all the feelings I had ever felt were bottled up inside of me, but when Mikoto died, the wall came crashing down. And my feelings were a hungry tidal wave that ate up my good memories and corrupted them, and broke them. 

Blood still poured from my cuts as I cried. They were deep I wanted to die. But I curled up and let myself slip into sleep. I couldn't be hurt there.