#LaterHaters

Turning Point(s)

By the time I was in middle school, Sixth grade to be exact. You would expect to look at someone and say "Oh, She looks happy. There's nothing bad going on in her life", Right? In fact, nobody knew. You cannot base a look on someone and be like "Everything is fine" 

Everything wasn't fine. From the start of middle school to now, There have been turning points throughout my experience and i continue to have my turning points. Most turning points are in fact, Pretty great. 

In middle school, There would be a lot of bullying and fitting in, and whatnot. For me, It wasn't a problem, Fitting in wasn't a problem. I was the quiet kid, The one everyone liked. But I made a new friend, it turned out to be a mistake. She caused a lot of drama, Caused a lot in my little group friends that i had. I was in foster care at the time, The girl became so bad to the point that I'd feel down and uncomfortable around her. One day i was in my room and i was crying, I wrote a note. Not a suicide note though, Not yet. My note was about how i hurt myself and what it felt like. I wrote it in thick black lettering. My foster mom found it while i was at school. 

Okay now let's fast forward to the day i left White Pine, A mental hospital. To be honest, Nothing fucking changed. The meds made me happy of course, But about a week after leaving, My foster mom had threw them away and said i didn't need them. 

Fast forward, Again. A year later. I'm home, Finally. But nothing was the same. My brother constantly made jokes about me self harming, I wanted to die. He told me to kill myself. 

Now I'm in 10th grade. My brother still hasn't stopped. This year is all,

"no one will care if you're gone, I wouldn't"

"cut deeper and harder" 

"keep going" 

I've been clean but on that day, I cut again. I instantly regretted it. I vowed to never do that again and to help others. I vowed to never listen to him. 

Now I'm happy, I've got high self esteem, Cross-Country star, and whatnot. What i do to stay happy was hard at first, But it's easy as soon as you get used to it. 

Everyone sees how happy i can be now. I get a lot of nice things being sad to me but there are still bullies out there, Such as my brother and recently my ex friend and her friends. But i don't let them bother me. 

My advice for anyone struggling with bullying and whatnot: 

IGNORE negative people, They have nothing better to do then be idiots who hurt people.

TRY to be POSITIVE, It really helps a lot.

If you SEE another person being bullied, HELP them. Trust me it's the best thing ever even though it can be nerve wreaking, You'll make that person's day.

IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH MORE THAN JUST BULLIES, YOU CAN ALWAYS MESSAGE ME. 

I don't usually tell people these things, But it seems pretty easy to talk about it than it was back then when everything was happening. If you have any questions, Feel free to message me. 

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST 

S P R E A D   L O V E :)

-sincerely 

Mercadies