Floating (boyxboy)

A world of accidents -9-

Chapter neuf -A world of accidents-

Dedicated to cookiemonster252 for having confused eyes just like Sebastian.

I was tired.

I was seriously tired of feeling the way I was. Half of me wanted to slap Sebastian for making me lose my mind like this, but the other half kind of wanted to kiss him. That's why I still avoided him. I was liable to do either one of those stupid things and I didn't want to do them because it only made this situation worse.

And as if I wasn't already confused enough, come Wednesday, ten days after the incident, during my free period I was on my way to the library when someone stepped in front of me.

As if on instinct, my hand shot out to brace myself, and all I met was hard muscle. I gaped, "Oh! Sorry!" This was the most I had said to him in days.

Sebastian looked down at me in mild amusement. "It's okay. Can we talk?" I felt my face flush, thinking about what we were going to have to talk about but I nodded. "Do you know of anywhere private?"

I nodded again, feeling like my words were all gummed up in my throat. I led him to an old classroom that held overflow supplies for art classes. The door stayed propped open and unlocked to circulate air for the kiln that was inside, but it didn't run that often. Today, it was not running, but the air was still chalky and thick. I opened the door and he followed me inside. I flicked on the dim light and glanced at him. In the brief moment I caught his gaze his face looked resigned.

"You didn't have to corner me, you know." I said.

He leaned against the wall. "Maybe. But I need to talk to you." I swallowed at his tone. This wasn't a can we talk? This was a we are going to talk. Like now.

"You could have asked me to talk in public, like a normal person." That was a little bit of a fib. I'd been avoiding him for ten days consecutively, no way I would have even let him say one word to me.

He scoffed. "You've made it so easy for the past week or so, Cameron." At the sound of my name, my cheeks heated.

"I know. I've just been, thinking." I said lamely. That wasn't untrue, I just hadn't come to any conclusions I could understand.

"I get that. I've been doing my own thinking too." He paused. "I don't know if you know this, but I really like you. And I have for a while now. I wasn't planning on telling you but then, you kissed me. I get that you weren't yourself because you had been drinking, but I just want to be honest..." He trailed off, looking me straight in the eye. "I just want to know if you're even considering me. Or if I should move on and act like this didn't happen."

"Sebastian," I said quietly because I didn't know what else to say. He just watched me ever so patiently as I struggled to find the words to say.

When it was obvious I had the brainpower of a fish, he said, "This is not to pressure you, but I need you to know I don't do 'experimenting' I've done it before and it doesn't end well." He crossed his arms across his chest, and his biceps bulged. I found myself absently counting the veins in his arms to distract myself.

Finally I said, "This isn't fair."

He looked surprised. "What?"

I felt my confidence grow at his expression. As did a small twinge of anger. "It isn't. My entire life I have been straight and let's say, hypothetically I'm not. You're now asking me to what? Be with you? When I have a homophobic mother and her boyfriend? I can't do that. I can't." His brows were furrowed, but he didn't stop me. "But I now I also can't not think about this. I can't bring myself to not talk to you or ignore you. It's not fair that you're doing this to me." I hadn't realized that I had gotten so close to him until I jabbed my finger into his chest.