Love journey

~2~ Memories

My dreams are occupied by David's ghost and flashbacks about our past together.

I put my fingers on the screen, waiting for him to do the same. His face was so smiling, his dark eyes communicating the exact opposite, a big conflict deeply inside of him, the kind of perfect imperfection I was looking for.
«Finally I'm watching your face, Claire.» He said, his fingers pulled on the screen, a thrill of conquest that pervaded me.
We finally broke our shy walls, we passed from the simply chat talks, to something bigger. The fall of our masks, the nakedness of our faces. 
«Yeah, we can actually watch each other in the eyes.»
I stopped breathing for a second, thinking about how difficult all this was for me.
«Are you nervous?» He asked me.
«Y-yes», I stuttered.
«You don't need to, you're beautiful.»
I removed my fingers from the screen, hiding my face behind my hands.
«Hey, what are you doing? I wanna keep admiring you.»
«Stop it, you're making me blush!»
«Again, you don't need to be embarrassed, you don't need to hide. You're an amazing paint everyone deserves to idolize.»
«Such a big liar!»
«Not at all. I thought since the beginning you were a wonderful person, with a pure heart, kind intentions. But now... Now that I see you, I know for sure.»
«David... You're too generous.»
«I'm not. I'm just a boy, a lucky one, who sent a message to the right girl a couple of years ago, and since then, I appreciate every single moment talking to you, knowing you, listening to you.»
«You're too patience with me.»
«I'm in love with you Claire, I'll give you all the time you need.»
That was the first time he confessed his feelings for me.
«You never said that.»
«But you knew it, you knew since a long time.»
«David I-I... We never met in real life.»
«It's okay Claire, I understand. You don't have to say it to me if you don't feel the same.»
«It's not... I'm just confused. You know me, better than anyone, but I still don't know if I'm in love with you too.»
I started to cry, knowing that I hurt the person I care the most about.
«Don't cry dear, I have enough love for us both.»
«It's just not fair. You're always so kind, too perfect for me. The pics you send me, the sweet messages and emojis, the songs you send to me that reminds me to you. What am I really doing for you?»
«You're the best poetry I've ever known. Every time I read your poems, I tell my self how much I'll be lucky if I would be your inspiration.»
«But you are.»
Once I said that, I realized I loved him too. But I didn't say anything, scared he could have thought I was saying this just because he did.

I wake up from my dreams, cradled by the sweet melody of our memories.
I dreamed about the first time I realized I fall in love of him, and since then, three years are passed by.

And later something else emerged from the past, an episode dated a year ago, during another video call.

My parents were pressing me to continue the family business after my college diploma. I hated the idea to be a real estate agent, I hated the idea to pick up their orders every single time they wanted to give me some. But this was my destiny, said to them. They became rich with this activity, and they wanted all the following generations to be rich too.
Suffocating by visions of my tasteless future, I found a safe refuge in David's words and promises.
«Come here to me Claire, marry me.»
«W-what?»
«Marry me. I wanna spend all my life with you, with you only.»
«That's... That's a big step, a really big one. We barely know each other in real lives, we haven't got a date, we live in opposite countries... How could all this work? I never thought about the marriage since now!»
«With our love we can face everything. You're parents wants you to live an ordinary life, I'm asking you the chance to live an extraordinary life, with me.»
«You know I love you, but...»
«At least promise me you'll think about it.»
«Okay.»
«Okay?»
«I'll think about it. But I don't want you to pause your life for me. If you met someone, don't loose the chance of a happy life with her because of me.»
«I don't want anyone but you.»
«David...»
«I will wait you forever.»

I know this could sound crazy, but he gave me a confidence I've never felt with someone else, the thought that the fairy "happily ever after" is actually possible.