Bad Influence // jack avery

Words I Didn't Say// Chapter 24

*One Month Later*

Anna's P.O.V.
Ever since Jack cut ties with me, everything reminds me of him. I've been missing him so much lately, it's killing me inside. I pray that one day he will be back in my arms once again. Each night without him is one filled with restlessness...

I just remember that whenever we are apart, I am always with him in spirit. Because wherever he goes, my soul will go with him. I will never leave his side. Not even if I'm physically unable to hold him and tell him how much I need him. I will forever and always, undoubtedly, be his. I hope he will be mine again, too. I love him. All I can think about is our future together. Our imaginary, non-existent future.

It doesn't matter if we bicker a million times... No one in the world could ever replace him. I'm ecstatic that fate brought us together once, and I beg that it does again. He is not only the love of my life and my best friend, he also my soul mate. If there was anything ever to fight for, it would be our love.

But he left. And with him, so did his love. His smile, his gleaming personality, has been completely removed from my life. There is no evidence that he was ever even in my life. Not a trace of him, yet every where I look it reminds me of him. When I walk in a room a wave of sadness washes over me. Hitting me with the memories of Jack and I when we were still happy with eachother. Now that it's gone. My world is gone as well, my joy, my everything is gone and he never wants to come back.

I cry myself to sleep every night. Thinking that one day, if I beg for him to return to my arms enough, he will knock on my door. But he doesn't. I even left public school and started online school so that Jack could live his life. I tried to talk to him after I left the hospital but whenever I open my mouth he turns and walks away. I should've never fallen for him. But I did, and I fell hard. So hard that I may never be able to get back up. He deserves someone better. All I did was ruin his life. And now that he finally looks happy without me I can't ruin that for him. I was just a bad influence on him and everything good in his life. He deserves someone that brings light. That brings him happiness! And I will never be able to do that for him. I will never be good enough for Jack. Never.

Jack's P.O.V.

I left. I couldn't stand to watch Anna get hurt because of me. I caused not only her heart to be hurt which is bad enough. But I caused her to get kidnapped for a month. 32 days of pure torture because of me. She deserves someone who can protect her and love her better than I ever could, and that is why I left.

I left because I can't stay around to watch my soulmate be treated the way I want to treat her by someone else. To hold her like I want to hold her. To love the way I love her. I can't stay to watch that happen. I am broken without her enough, I don't want to see her get over me because I know for a fact I will never be able to get over her.

All of the boys stopped bringing her around the house about a week after she got out of the hospital. And now they don't even say her name, at least not around me. When I left, so did every trace Anna was even in my life. All I have are memories. Memories of her gorgous smile. Her contagious laugh. And her kisses, oh my lord do I miss her kisses. I would do anything to be able to kiss her one more time. Her soft kissable lips against mine is incomparable to any type of emotion I have ever felt. No amount of money or fame could ever amount to the things Anna gave me. She did not give me something you could physically touch or see. She gave me her love, devotion, and an indescribable story to tell. But this story isn't over yet I can assure you that.

I don't leave my room anymore except for food every once in a while. It is fall break so I don't have to go to school anyways. What is the point in doing anything if you can't do it with the one you love at your side? Everything around me feels empty. Hell, I feel empty. I didn't realize that she would leave such a whole if she wasn't there. Mostly because I always thought that she would be with me forever. That is what I promised her on the ferris wheel during our second date. But I betrayed her, disrespected her, and lied. And she still was willing to take me back. She deserves so much more than I could ever give her. I was raised on the idea that everyone has values and purpose, and that I should treat people as such. But I went against all of my morals the second my petty and arrogant emotions got the best of me. All of my morals I have ever known and lived by ruined by no one other than me. And nothing hurts worse than hurting someone you love and care for, and not being able to win them back. Every ounce of compassion and admiration gets absorbed by Anna. I am emotionally and physically drained from the fact that I continue to love her...from a distance. That I love her without her lips. Without her hugs. Without her laugh. Her voice. Her smile. Without her love. And I am just left broken. There is no one left for me to love, so I don't care anymore. The one person I swore not to hurt, that I promised never to leave. All of the promises I have ever made are all broken. All except one. I promised to never stop loving her, and that is what I have been doing and will continue to do until I physically can't give any more love. I had to leave all because of the words I didn't say. I always got to caught up in all of the rumors and drama that I never realized how much it affected her. I had all of my priorities in line until I couldn't help but think the worst.

She tried so hard to give me the best she could, but all I did was push her away. I am guilty of all the pain she has endured. I am guilty of breaking her heart. I lie awake at night thinking about all the lies and games I played on her. The hundreds of promises I broke all in the name of jealousy. Just because of the words I didn't say.

I'm sorry.