messages; reddie

50

eddie started a private chat with richie.

eddie:
richie

richie:
eddie

i can't keep doing this

eddie:
i know

im an insensitive asshole

i really shouldn't have treated you like that

richie:
yeah..

eddie:
im so fucking sorry

i shouldn't have avoided you and pretended nothing happened

i shouldn't have acted like a fucking dick

you deserve so much better than that

richie:
yeah

eddie:
i

i care about you rich

more than seems humanly possible

i didn't know what to do or how to deal with these feelings so i pushed them away

i tried to convince myself that i was straight

i don't know why i deal with things that way

i was scared

i was scared about what these feelings meant

but that gave me no right to treat you like shit

and i could apologize for the rest of my life

i WOULD apologize for the rest of my life if it meant seeing you happy

i would do anything for you

richie:
eddie...

eddie:
i was in all honesty stupid

i pretended i was straight

i pretended that i was happy with a girlfriend

i pretended that i loved her

richie:
wait

you didn't love her?

eddie:
not even a little bit

it was all pretend

how could i love her if my hearts been taken by someone else?

richie:
i..

eddie:
look richie

im sorry

And i know you've been kind of seeing josh and he probably treats you better than i have

but you mean the whole world to me