Trusting Milo

III

I N D I G O

The trees became a blur as I rushed home, anxiety cutting me to the core. I have never been late before. I was home schooled before we moved and never made a single friend so I had plenty of time to wait on him hand and foot. I've never known the punishment for this and frankly, I'm terrified to find out. 

As I rolled around the corner, I saw Jim's navy blue pick up in the driveway. My body temperature dropped a significant amount out of complete and utter fear. Before I could even reach for the knob, the front door swung open and there he stood, his eyes holding nothing but fuel'd anger. He yanked me into the house by my arm, making me cry out in pain.

"Where the fuck have you been?! Are you trying to starve me?!," he screamed at me.

"I-I-I'm so sorry sir... I lost track of time... I swear I didn't mean--" my apology was cut short as a beer bottle connected with my temple. I screamed as I clutched the side of my head, the searing pain shot through my brain and blood began trickling down my face.

"I don't have time for your god damn games, you little bitch. YOU will handle dinner when we get back," he stated coldly while dragging me out of the house. "Where are we going?!," I begged. He didn't answer, instead he just threw me into the passenger seat of his truck and slammed the door. Within seconds, he was peeling out of the driveway and down the road. The whole ride was eerily silent. I had no idea where we were going but I knew it wasn't going to be good, at all.

We drove down a dirt road that led to a camper after about twenty minutes; it was completely dark out now. The truck jolted to a stop and Jim got out, then motioned for me to follow suit. He knocked on the camper door and when it opened, the odor of cigarettes and beer invaded my senses, making me want to gag. An older looking man wearing tattered denim jeans and a wife beater that didn't do his beer gut any justice, stood in the doorway looking me up and down. His gaze made me shiver in disgust. Why are we here?

"I'll take half payment now and the rest when you're done," Jim stated coldly.

The man gave out a raspy chuckle and handed Jim a wad of cash. 

Jim looked back at me with an evil glint in his eye. I wanted to question why I was here but before I could even muster up any words, I was thrown into the unknown man's arms. "Try not to damage her face. The bitch has to go back to school tomorrow," Jim spat out before turning on his heel and heading back to his truck. Without me. 

Fear and panic began to consume my entire body as I trembled violently. Not again. 

The man looked at me as he licked his lips, "this is going to be fun, little one."

M A T U R E • S C E N E

I started to back away, heading closer to the door. Jim has done a lot of shit to me in the past... this wasn't beneath him and it wasn't the first time. I hurriedly turned around, my only thought was to run. I felt the man grab a chunk full of my hair as he pulled me to the ground. "Tsk tsk. I already paid your daddy. That makes you mine for the next hour. So, we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way," his words made me choke on my own sobs. How could my own father do this to me?

I let out a blood curdling scream, praying someone would hear me. His hands began to roam my body as I flopped around like a fish out of water on his camper floor. "Scream all you want, no one will come for you. I take it you want it the hard way. That's okay, I like it rough too," he stated gruffly as he tied my legs, the rope burning my skin as I tried to move frantically out of his hold. I felt his hand connect with my face, making me cry out; hot tears streaming down my now burning cheek. He took both of my wrists in one hand as the other roamed dangerously close to the button of my jeans. "Please, no! Please!," I begged, sobbing uncontrollably at this point.

He growled in satisfaction at my pleading, making me realize this man is not going to show me any mercy. Milo immediately entered my mind and my heart ached knowing he deserved someone pure, someone innocent. I cried out desperately when I felt the searing pain of his member entering me. I prayed again as I hollered in agony; but I wasn't praying to be saved anymore. I was praying to die. And with that, the darkness started to take over my vision.

My nightmare woke me up some time in the middle of the night, thankful to be in my bed. I replayed what all had happened and began to have a panic attack. How could he do this to me? I always wondered but knew I would never get an answer. I just want to know what it's like to have a real family... I just want to know what it's like to be loved. With that, I cried for an hour or so before falling back to sleep again.

N E X T • M O R N I N G

"Get the fuck up or you will be late!," Jim yelled through the house. I jolted out of bed, immediately reminded of last night as the shooting pain from below spread. I began to silently sob as I slid down the wall, hugging myself as if I were about to fall apart any minute. 

I rushed into the shower, scrubbing my entire body raw. When I got out, I heard the front door slam shut. I let out a deep breath that I didn't know I was holding in. I looked in the mirror, thinking the sight in front of me would be traumatic. But it wasn't bad, I've had worse. The once grotesque bruise had turned yellowish, while a new blackened one appeared on the other side of my face. I now had a form of finger prints plastered along my neck, my inner thighs bruised as well. I looked down at my ankles which were raw now, skin flaked off from the rope burn. I had to fight the tears beginning to form. No more crying, I have to get ready. If I'm late, Jim will lose his shit.

I needed my hair down to help cover some of the bruising, as my concealer can only do so much. Once I deemed myself 'good to go' I walked slowly to my closet, ignoring the excruciating pain that was coming in all different directions on my body. I threw on a black hoodie and some faded Hollister jeans that fit me a little more snug than usual, considering I bought these five years ago. I threw on my vans and grabbed my board, making my way to Willow High for the second day of public school.

Throwing my hood over my head as I reached the parking lot, I noticed Vera and Em sitting on a yellow Volkswagen. They both immediately smiled in my direction while motioning me to come over. I didn't want to be rude and refuse, even though my body was begging me to just get to class and sit in a seat. My legs began to tremble violently as I got closer to them. Any other day and I would've waved it off as anxiety, but today, the exhaustion was taking a toll on me.

"Are you okay, hun?," Em asked, concern etched on her pretty face.

I just nodded and told them I didn't get much sleep, which wasn't entirely a lie. Their disapproving looks told me they didn't believe my shit story but they didn't press the matter any further, which I silently thanked them for. If anyone found out, too many things could happen. I've played the scenarios in my mind for the past decade or so. I told my home school tutor back when I was about ten... she scolded me and told me lying was a sin and that my father would do no such thing. That night, he beat me with a crow bar and starved me for six days. 

Now I'm sure you're thinking, well what about your other family? Funny story; note the sarcasm. We don't have any-- at least that's what Jim tells me. My mom passed away while giving birth to me. I never knew if she had brothers or sisters, or if I had any grandparents. I'm sure if Jim did know, he'd never tell a soul. On the bright side, I turn 18 is two months and then I can high tail it the fuck out of here.

I followed the girls through the halls, quietly listening to them chat about their weekend plans. "You're coming over tonight, right?," Vera asked, drawing me out of my thoughts. "Uh, I'll have to ask Ji-- my dad," I stated, trying not to grit my teeth so hard at the word I used for him.

They both sent each other a look before humming an okay.

"Well this is my stop. I'll see you two later?," I asked, unsure if they really even wanted me around. Their faces lit up as they smiled widely, "See you at lunch!," Vera chirped.

P L E A S E • V O T E