You're The Only Reason

f o u r

But the truth was because he had already concluded that he's going to die one day and probably really soon. He was mad and upset about his life fate. He didn't know who or what exactly he's mad or upset at but he simply was acting way more bitter than he ever was in his entire life.

Some days , he think that his mother should have just aborted him when he was still in her womb or inform the doctors to put him to sleep after he was born , when they've found out that he had a heart condition so he wouldn't have to suffer his current life.

Other days , he's mad at God. He cries and yells up to his ceiling all night , making his mother sob outside his room while listening to all his rants. She couldn't blame him , there was nothing wrong about him being mad and upset about his life. He doesn't even deserve to suffer this way.

He's a hardworking student in school , healthy and exercised often and yet he's suffering. He was mad at himself for not being able to do anything about it , other times he was just mad at nothing. His condition changed him , so did moving to Daegu.

He spent the whole summer holidays at home , watching movie and playing video games. He never went out like what his mother wanted him to. He thought that he still had the chance to meet new friends when school opens.

          After the summer holidays , which passed by really quickly , Jungkook knew he couldn't escape from school. He had to attend school no matter what. Afterall , he had been staying at home for the past three months. Its time for him to get out of there.

Jungkook was glad that he had good grades when he studied in Busan as the the class he got into in Daegu had pretty decent students. He was relieve that he didn't went into one which had students fighting and kissing in class. He can't imagine himself surviving in there for a minute.

The thing he noticed about the school is that they had a group of vocalist that participates in National Contests. Jungkook decided to sign up since he has been practicing his vocals in he's previous school and hopefully he get a chance to get into the National Team. He thought that since he might not have much time left , might as well enjoy life.

Jungkook was also told to improve his social activities. He's the new student and his teacher expected him to be more social rather than being alone all the time.

He expected his teacher , Mr Park , to tell him about it but not on the first day. He hasn't interact with anyone yet , not even a introduction of himself to someone. But it was just the first day and he wanted to pass all the introductions as he hates them the most.

But he didn't really care about what Mr Park said though.

"Hey Jungkook! I'm Seokjin but you can call me Jin. Mr Park talked a lot about the incoming new student , totally didn't expect you to be this quiet." He chuckled

"Neh , not exactly. Just not used to it , still trying to get use to the enviroment." Jungkook spoke , hoping Jin could still hear him with his mask on.

"Ah , don't worry , it takes quite some time to get use to a new enviroment. If you don't mind , can i ask you something?"

"Sure , what is it?"

"Why do you wear a mask? Are you unwell today?"

With that , Jungkook told him. He knew he couldn't keep from anyone for long. Sooner or later , someone will find out so might as well say the truth. He was sure Jin would avoid him after he find out it but he didn't. Instead , Jin invited Jungkook to seat with him and his other friends during lunch.

He was really happy about it even though he knows that not everyone will react like Jin did.

The first day of school finally ended. It was actually pretty fun for him. All the people he met are Jin's friends. There's Taehyung , Namjoon and Hoseok. But nothing interesting exactly happen.

He simply wondered what the other students think about him when he walked down the hallway with a mask on. He felt embarrassed with it and kept his head down as long as he could hold.

Even when Jin first approached him earlier on , he wanted to run away from embarrassement. But he told himself to remain calm , its not like they've never seen someone in a mask before but it felt different as there's a reason behind it.

          After attending school for a few months , Jungkook realised it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. The worst thing was still his interactions with others. He simply couldn't bring himself to approach someone else with the mask on. The only people he hangs out with are Jin , Taehyung , Hoseok and Namjoon.

But since Jin and Namjoon are together , they tend to leave Taehyung , Jungkook and Hoseok alone. Hoseok too , leaves them as he likes mixing around with different groups of people. He's probably seen hanging out with different people everyday.

So he's always been left alone with Taehyung but he's always happy with him. He didn't need to start a conversation since Taehyung likes blabbering about almost everything he can and Jungkook likes listening to it.

Sometimes , Jungkook wonders if he was really listening to Taehyung or simply staring at the beauty. He doesn't know himself.

Though Jungkook has confidence with his friends , its still hard for him to approach someone else. He wanted to take off his mask and have back his confidence but he knew he couldn't do it.

Almost everything about Jungkook changed , except his attitude towards studies and friends. He still tries his best to study every night along with his vocal practices.

"Hey , how are you guys?"

Jungkook looks up at the boy whose intertwining his fingers with a taller male.

"Hey Jin. We're totally great." Jungkook said sarcarstically.

"Sure we are , especially getting abandoned everyday." Taehyung joked , glancing at Jungkook.

"Aww don't be like that. Its normal for us act like this." Jin laughed

To Jungkook , all of his friends has contagious laughters. Whenever they laugh , he can't keep still but laugh along.

Whenever he laughs , it just made him forget about the fact that he wouldn't be living for long. It made him forget about all the troubles he had.

But Jungkook couldn't help but to think about it often. Though none of them brought up , they knew Jungkook well enough to not even ask him what he's thinking about. They always knew.

What Jungkook didn't know was that Taehyung caught him crying in the gents a couple of times. As much as Taehyung wanted to comfort him , he didn't step forward to because he wouldn't be able hold his tears back.

Taehyung knew Jungkook was in pain for countless times during their VCP - Vocal Class Practice. He didn't tell the instructor because he know that the bitchy instructor will surely send Jungkook home.

- To Be Continued -