VIXX FANFIC ANGST (N X VIXX MEMBERS)

(8)Insane?

(End of previous flashback and back to present day)

"Hyung,you really shouldn't just go ahead and punch sajang-nim ya know..."hongbin manages to muster up to leo as all the other members including them were sitting and lying around the floor of their dance practice room.

With that statement,leo glares at the younger.

"He deserves it in the first place.Saying all those garbage about kicking N out of the group.Where is his common sense? Money? Profit? Seriously is that all Entertainment company Ceos only think of nowadays?"leo hisses.

"Leo's right...he shouldn't have said that about N but....i couldn't help but notice when i was spacing out just now that...we also talked and treated N like shit.We had told him before that the group will do just fine or even better without someone like him around.It doesn't make that much of a difference to what sajang-nim said just now."the youngest said while breaking down crying at the realisation of what they had done themselves.

"Not only that but,we always push him away when he was just trying to show his affection and comfort even when he was just as tired as us."

"We...don't deserve him...do we...?"

They all looked at one another with sorrowful expressions.

"Let's not talk about this anymore and rather just pray and hope that hyung could make it through his surgery.Hope that he gets well and gets discharged soon so we can be one as a group again."

"Bu-but the doctor said that he may require to stay at least 5 months or longer...hyung suffered from critical depression and anorexia,he'll be unstable.....maybe we should leave him out of the gro-"

Before ken could continue on,all the members glared at him.

"Are you giving up on him now?"

"No..."

"Then stop"

"Enough you all.Let's just practice for a bit then maybe when we have some time afterwards,we can visit N again.His operation should end around the time we finish our practice"

With that,they all practiced but of course half heartedly as they no longer have the mood to do so ever since the conversation with their CEO few hours before.

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After a few long hours of practice,they noticed that it was already 1am in the mornin, all packed their belongings whilst getting ready to leave and decide to visit their beloved leader the next day.

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The next day,early in the morning they quickly got ready and on their way,they picked some snacks and flowers to be given to their ill leader.

Eventually reaching the door to their leader private room,they looked at one another before opening the door slowly.

There he sits with a bandage wrapped tightly around his head awake while staring at the hospital food given to him with an emotionless face.

One by one the members step inside the room,quietly approaching their leader's bed, of course they took caution and made sure not to stand to near just in case N throws a tantrum just like before.

But before they could get any nearer,

"Get out." With a cold,stern voice N required the members to leave.

"Hyung,not this again.Just calm down please.You just finished your surgery yesterday.We don't mean any harm,we just came to visit and give you these snacks....and flowers."

"Visit huh...I don't need any of your concern....don't give me all those 'we care for you bullshit'.I don't need it.After all those years we have known each other.Only now you show your concern.Only because i am confined here isn't it? Does that mean,if i was all fine and healthy,you all would just treat me like i am non existent?Does it mean that i have to keep hurting myself to end up here just so that all of you will care for me?hahahah....hahahhah...ha...Is that the way i have to gain some affection and love in return? Hahahhhaa.....its so funny...hahahahah you all are so funny hahahahah" N laughs and talks maniacally,with tears steaming down his eyes while still staring at his breakfast and tightning his grip on his blanket.

N's words left them speechless and also with a pang of guilt in their chest.All they could do was shake their heads,disagreeing with what was said to them and at the same time stared at their leader with a sad expression.

They have certainly never seen their leader so insane and broken before.It was like their leader had given up all his sanity just to escape his pains that he had kept hidden all those years till now.

"Hahaha....they care for me hahahah only when i am hurt and confined this way hahahah...this broccoli is funny hahahahah it look like a tree hahahahaah twinkle,twinkle little stars~ hhahahahhahaha little stars haha stars they remind me of our starlights,don't you guys think so?"

While N continued talking to himself almost similar to that of an insane person,the doctor walked in while shaking his head in pity.

"*sigh* he's been that way since he woke up earlier this morning at 5am.We suspected that it had something to do with the aftermath of the surgery but sadly it was proven that he did lose a bit of his sanity due to whatever trauma he had experienced.I guess i have to also tell you this since you all have the right to know that this morning,just after few minutes after he woke up,he had yet again inflicted himself with cuts again.Except this time it was on his left palm. It was mostly the fault of one of our nurses that she left a small knife just on his bedside table after shredding an apple for him while putting his dirty laundry away.We would like to deeply apologize for her mistake but nevertheless luckily she came back just in time to stop him from harming himself any further."the doctor states quietly.

"May i ask if you have any time now?perhaps are you all busy? "

"No we're not for now."

"Right then,if you don't mind,please explain to me on what had happened to him before that he was traumatised until he became what he is now"

With that question,leo's body became stiff and avoided the doctor's atern gaze while ravi,hyuk and ken fumbled and twisted their body slightly at the sudden uncomfortable question.Hongbin on the other hand could only turn his head to look at the leader with a guilty expression.

"We...umm...."

To be continued.....

This chapter is kinda....disappointing.Mostly for me it's disappointing due to how 'dragging' and reppetative it became.I would like to apologize if it doesn't make sense and if there are a ton of spelling mistakes here...I'm really sleepy right now...so yeah...