VIXX FANFIC ANGST (N X VIXX MEMBERS)

(18)Cha Hakyeon

Once upon a time,on June 30th 1990,a beautifully tan skinned baby boy was born.Loved,adored,protected well by proud parents and caring siblings.

Its no wonder he grew up as somebody who is caring,selfless and motivating.He had a good life...at least at home he did...

Whereas in the outside world,beyond the comfort of his home and family,people or strangers would basically ignore and treat him badly.

Always being commented for his tanned skin tone which was considered not up to the typical,stereotypical korean beauty standards.

Insulted for his open and welcoming personality in order to make friends .'Was it wrong to approach people that you are expecting to be friends with?' Was all he wondered.

People in his school would bully him and he would always go home crying or at least try to feel unaffected by all the physical abuse and negetivity thrown at him.

His parents had taught him well in terms on being patient and positive regardless of all that had happened to him.

His siblings on the other hand were overprotective when it comes in terms to hakyeon's safety and wellbeing.They had often taught him to fight back but being the kind hearted kid he is,he refused to even hurt a soul even when he was treated badly.

In order to distract himself from the pain and trouble that were directed at him,he took on various hobbies.Then he found one.

Dancing.It enabled him to express his feelings through the expressive and elegant movements,the music to match the mood he was feeling at that particular day.

It made him happy.It made him forget the agony he had to endure.

Years have passed and now almost in his late teens,he decided that he wanted be an idol to perform on stage and share his talent with the world.

His parents and older sisters gave their full support while his older brother on the other hand was not fond of the idea.Several attempts were made to change the younger's mind.He was stubborn and unchanging to his decisions.

Despite the warning given by the elder,he goes on a journey to audition for several entertaiment companies.

Sadly,after all the auditions that he did,not one company accepted him.He almost gave up since he had failed 30 or so auditions.Regardless, he decided to attend an audition,a last one that he promised himself with.He of course auditioned for Jellyfish ent.

Atlas,when news came that he passed and was accepted as a trainee,he was overcome with joy.

He trained day and night and after 3 years,he was allowed to be part of the survial reality show MYDOL in high hopes that he would be one of the chosen ones to be able to debut.

He diligently tries his best to show all the practice that he had done just to perfect both singing and dancing.He too did his best in making friends.

Sure they accepted and opened up to him but of course,the comments on his caramel skin tone goes on.Often times the other participants that he considered as friends would unexpectedly spout triggering words that had affected the later's feelings.

Hakyeon as everyone would know by now,would ignore and pretends on not hearing those comments directed to him and continues to laugh and smile along.

Despite those obstacles, he made it through on becoming one of the permanent members of the upcoming boy group along with the 5 other participants that he had befriended.As the oldest of the group and the most caring of all,he was chosen to be the leader and this brought him immense joy that his efforts paid off.

....................................

Of course,5 years have passed.Many wonderful memories were made but what stuck painfully on to hakyeon were all the hurts he had to shelter inside him.

He never talked to anyone about his concerns but don't get him wrong,sometimes he hoped and wished to have that somebody to talk out his problems to without being judged.

He had thought of talking to his dearest parents but being the filial and considerate son he is,refused in the idea on having his parents to worry for his wellbeing. He had too considered on talking to his older sisters but sadly he didn't want to interfere with their busy life and he was afraid he might burden them.

His last thought was talking to his trusty elder brother but remembering how his brother had tried to change his mind on the profession he chose to enter,he scraped off the thought.Afraid that his elder brother may go ahead and rage against his members and fans that were both equally dear to him even when they don't feel the same towards him.What he feared the most was that his over protective brother may attempt in resigning hakyeon from the group himself after knowing how he was treated.

His self confidence,his pride,his loving personality...all came crashing down into a pile of mess. It was because of these unattended stress,hurt and neglect he was inflicted with,he slowly lost his will to continue on with life.

He even started thinking of negative things which are often leading up to self harm and suicides.Often he would take most of the fans comment about him to heart.

'He's fat.'
With that he started starving himself.Only eating when he deemed 'necessary'

'Omg...he's so dark skinned,ewww'
With that he started using and buying all those unnecessary skin whitening beauty products in order to attempt to be at least 'slightly' fairer.

'He's so loud and annoying.Like can he just shut up and leave the talking to the other members for once?!'
With that he of course had started shutting his mouth.Only speaking when asked a question or deemed necessary.

Because he started to listen to those comments,he started doing the unthinkable.

'He should go ahead and be that emo bitch that cuts himself.He's already ugly anyway so some scars on his skin could probably make him look better hahahhahahahha'

'Cut yourself and die you dark skinned bitch of a so called leader! Leo would be a much better Leader than you!'

Those comments shocked him at first but after seeing that there were tons of those request,he started cutting himself.

Slowly it became a habit or should we say his 'solution' to releasing his stress and pain.

Soon,Long sleeved clothing and turtleneck sweaters became part of his permanent fashion style.

Both starlight and Vixx members could care less and were oblivious but his stylist would often question him for it since he had worn clothing suitable for the winter on hot summer occasions.

Hakyeon at these times when questioned on his style would be all flustered and scared.

Excuses that it was his favourite became something common for an answer to those who questioned him.

He felt pathetic and depressed at these times.He felt that he was alone.That nobody was there for a 'lousy' person or leader like him.

All of this which leads to the hakyeon in the present.

All bandaged up and hospitalised.
Crazy would be an understatement.

Insane,sick and severely depressed is what could be described of him now.

What will happen to him? What will happen to Vixx?

To be continued~
Hahaha...i know its boring ;;_;; witer's block sucks and I LOVE HAKYEON~ ♡
Thanks for reading this chapter y'all.Don't forget to comment and vote ~✩