don't wanna cry | soonhoon

chapter 1: realization

SOONYOUNG'S POV

'Soonyoung,'

'Hey...Soonyoung....'

'Soonyoung, you idiot'

'Wake up, Soonyoung!!'

'I love you Soonyoung, wake up..'

And I opened my eyes, hoping I could see Jihoon, but I didn't. Instead I saw Hana, my girlfriend right now.

It's been 2 years since Jihoon left Korea to pursue his studies and ever since then I haven't had contact with him. His last message was 'The plane will fly now, I love you.' And that was it. It has been 2 years.

And no. We haven't broken up yet. Officially. I have distanced myself from him and so did he. I feel as if this wasn't real. The love I mean. I don't know what he's doing, feeling or if he still loves me.

How I met Hana? I don't know. She was just my classmate back in highschool, seemed like she had a crush on me. I don't what went with my mind that I said yes. I think I got too drunk one night and things happened. I can't recall.

I miss Jihoon I really do. Yes, I still text him but...but........he never replies.

'Jihoonie! I miss you, I love you! Please reply back baby'

Seen.

'I see you're busy, good luck baby! Love you lots!'

Seen.

'Did something happen Jihoonie? What happened why aren't you replying?'

Seen.

I don't know what happened. I don't know what I did to him. I don't know and it's making me insane.

I miss him. I want to d-

"Soonyoung! What's taking you too long? Your food is waiting darling!" Hana shouted from the kitchen.

I got up from my bed and lazily walked up to the kitchen. All those thoughts made me hungry. Hana came up to me and hugged me, "Honey, eat well okay? I'll be out for 2 days since my parents want me to go to them."

I nodded and gave her a peck on the cheek and she went off to our bedroom. All these thoughts made me hungry. I sat down the chair and silently ate the omelet she prepared.

Our love is pretty one-sided. I liked her, before, but the feelings are gone now and now I miss Jihoon. Why I just can't break up with her? She scares me. She vowed to kill me and Jihoon if she saw us together again. I'd rather die alone and leave Jihoon safe.

I heard a door open and a luggage roll. "Honey, I'll be going now okay? Eat lots when I'm gone. I love you!" Hana pecked my cheeks. I nodded and saw her nose scrunch. "What? No 'I love you too?'" She asked me.

Then again I nodded. "Soon okay, I'm still eating." I said as I stuffed my mouth with food.

"It's Jihoon again, isn't it?"

Her face turned serious. I violently shook my head and disagreed. "No, I already forgot him-" I gulped, clearing the food and the tension, "I already forgot that asshole." I said, already regretting it. (I'm sorry Jihoon I love you lots)

Hana laughed and pecked me again. She left with a goodbye. I think, it's about time I call him. Is it?

I should.