Knowing Real Love

falling for my best friend

Over a year ago we met. I wasnt very nice to you, you still wander why. But it's because I was scared of you. I knew you were the kind of guy I'd fall in love with and never get out of. I didn't know you'd be this great tho.

I was with Isaiah at the time going on to two years with him I was slowly hating him more and more every day. I tried to make the love work but it faded faster every day. I finally met a guy that made me laugh and cared about me and forgot Isaiah existed slowly fell for him and then a day after mine and Isaiah's 1 year and 5 months I left him for tuder. Tuder was nice to me and he was funny but something was off there was something missing, bland and lifeless.

About two weeks in he left me of course, although I was crushed a few days after all we did was talk constantly your girlfriend at the time didn't like us being friends cause she knew you liked me. But we were best friends. You told me tuder was a piece of shit to just leave me without reason and told me I didn't need him. A few more days went on and we were at a competition for band you were walking with me and bought me some chilli cheese fries. They were so good. On our way to the stands I tried to eat them by slurping one out of the fry boat it was in and we were laughing way to hard at the sound it made. We get back to the stands and I almost ate them all and all I remember is a blue powerade Mountain Dew and you pulling your beaded necklace through your gauges and talking about how bad they smelt. Your girlfriend was mad at you for spending so much time with me so you sat by me the hole time.

By the time it got dark you were holding her and I kept looking at you guys. You looked unhappy. She had a huge smile on her face but you kept looking at me. I felt alone and I think you could see it. I was texting tuder and he was a little drunk he didn't really want to talk to me. You look down and push Alaina off and start yelling at me. You told me what a jurk he was and how I didn't need him and how he don't want me. I felt even more alone but we had a better night after that. I remember all time times in band when you'd walk over to me and try to talk about something then Alaina would yell at you so we couldn't speak. We were really close and you complemented me all the time. It made me feel good about myself. My favorite memory is when I was coming back from the doctors and before I left school you looked extremely depressed. So I went to your house. You told me about your problems and we had a fire we talked a while and laughed alot. Then Alaina texted you you started to stress and panic she called you and broke up with you. You threw your phone and said it's what ever because she told you to just have fun with me and we carried on. She called you back and you walked away. You come back and you guys were back together after that day we never talked but more than a small conversation. The end of the year came we started to talk again all the time in the halls and in breakfast any time we seen eachother in band we had something to say. Everything was back the way it was.

Then came summer school. The first day of summer school I was in the car doing my makeup hoping to god you'd be there then I walked in and you turned around and smiled and said "hey your here too!" Jessup just looked at me uncomfortable. We talked for a good half hour then mad our way down stairs we sat next to eachother and talked about how stupid summer school is and how we were prepping our selves for it. Once we got signed in we had to take a pretest. You looked at me and you were amazed that there was 75 questions and got nervous. We guessed on the hole thing. The hole time we were taking about waffels and food. About a week or so into it I was helping you and telling you how to get things done faster. We usually got two boxes done in a day and spent the hole time talking about pointless things that made my face hurt talking to you about them cause I'd smile so much. We'd spend every day just looking over at eachother and not knowing what to talk about but we wanted to talk to eachother. I seen every day you'd just look at me more and more and we'd take a second and just smile. Some times id look over and see you smiling and staring into the computer screen and you'd start gigling at nothing. Some times Jessup would turn around and just stare at me and never say a word then finally say something then get yelled at instantly. Me and you would talk about music for 4 hours sreight evey day.