A Door in the Wall (Converted Camren)

Chapter 11

When Camila slowly disentangled herself from Lauren, the blonde quickly asked by signing:

Camila, are you mad at me? For the ...

Lauren did not know the sign for kiss so she just tapped her lips.

Camila vehemently shook her head.

No, I am not mad. Then she smiled. Just confused.

Camila looked at the floor for a second. She was not ready to speak about the kiss that had almost made her heart stop. She needed to digest it first, so she decided to tread on safer ground. Everything was happening so fast and she had no hold on her feelings anymore. She felt like she was flying, but was afraid of landing very hard.

Lauren, what happened just now? What made you break down like this? Camila's warm, brown eyes were still full of concern when she searched Lauren's face.

Lauren took Camila's hand and pulled her to the couch. She grabbed the pen and paper and started writing with Rachel peering over her shoulder. Lauren knew she needed to explain what had triggered her to freak out like that.

Camila, I'm sorry that I lost it just now. I didn't want to scare you with my crying!

She felt a reproachful look from the woman beside her.

Ok, I did scare you?

A nod and Camila's chocolate brown eyes were deep and full of turmoil.

I'm really sorry! Quinn rubbed her right hand with a closed fist over her heart, the sign for 'apologize'. Honestly, I mean it. Let me explain.

Camila quickly fished the pen out of Lauren's hand. She appreciated Lauren's gesture of learning ASL, but she also understood that for this conversation it was easier to refer back to writing.

Good. I want to know what is going on in that head of yours! So maybe next time I can come better prepared...

Lauren squeezed Camila's fingers apologetically and continued writing after having collected her thoughts.

I now only realized and understood completely what you have lost and how it must be for you. I understood what the world without sound is like. Or at least I started to understand. And that understanding just came from something as banal as not being able to hear the sound of the fork grating against the plate. And if something this small is already so hard to endure, I just wondered how hard it must be for you...

Lauren threw a glance at Camila sitting next to her on the couch, her eyes skipping over the written words. When she noticed that Camila had finished reading, she continued.

Camila, if this is too hurtful we can stop.

A small shake with her head brought some brown strands to fall into her eyes. With a graceful gesture, Camila brushed them to the side and slightly jutted out her chin at the pad. Lauren paused for a moment, the pen poised in the air. She actually wanted to write something else, but then she wrote the question that had been burning in her soul for the past days.

Camila, how did it happen?

Camila had expected that question already a lot earlier. Nevertheless, it strung a painful chord in her chest thinking about it. Still, she started to explain.

I was in a car accident. I came back from a photo shoot with my parents, Sofi was at a friend house fortunately. It was very late at night. My father was driving when our car was hit by a pick-up truck at an intersection. The driver of the other car was drunk and didn't see the red traffic light. At least that is what they told me later. My luck was that I was sitting on the right side in the back seat, my parents  were not so fortunate. The pick-up rammed the left back door where they were sitting. Had I been sitting there, I would not be sitting here anymore.