The Phoenix

Chapter 8

I wake up the next morning in Alex's arms. I gulp and sigh as I start to slowly stir. I turn on my side and lay my head on his chest as his arms wrap tighter around me. My are eyes swollen shut from crying myself to sleep.
"Hey... good morning beautiful." Alex says softly. I slowly peel my eyes open and look around. I furrow my eyebrows and I gulp as I remember all the events of last night. I bite my lip and sit up. I look down at my hands and my clothes and start to breathe heavily as I see I still have Harry's blood all over me. I bite back the tears that burn my eyes the best I can. But I fail as a few slip and fall down my cheeks. Alex sits up and pulls me into his lap. He buries me into him hugs me tightly. I wrap my arms around him and sob into his neck. "Shh it's okay. It's gonna be okay, baby." He says softly.
  "It's my fault... it's my fault he's dead." I sob. Alex shakes his head and hugs me tighter.
  "No it wasn't. It's not your fault. He did it to save you. It was his choice baby." He says softly. I sniffle and nod. He gently cups my cheeks and makes me look at him. "Hey... it's gonna be okay baby. We will get through this. Together. Okay?" He asks. I gulp nod as I look at him. He nods and smiles sadly. He kisses me softly and I kiss him back gently. Then I pull back and let out one more sob as I look at my hands.
"I need to get this off of me... it's all over me... I need it off." I say standing up and trying to rub it off of me. Alex climbs out of bed and grabs my waist. Then my hands.
"Hey. Hey. Calm down. Calm down love. Come on... stop. Stop it." He says as I freak out a little and try getting his blood off of me. He grabs my hands tighter and makes me stop. "Serena." He says. I gulp and take a shaky breath as I look at him. I close my eyes and lay my head on his as I cry.
"I'm sorry..." I whimper into him. "I don't do good when people I love die. It messes with my head. I hate it. I... it hurts. It hurts so bad..." I sob. He nods.
"I know. I know! Serena I know babe... I know... he was my best friend... I know... but we have to move on. Okay? Come on baby... breathe... it's gonna be okay. I'll help you through it and you will help me. We can do his baby girl. Okay?" He asks. I sob and nod as I hug him close and he buries his face in my neck. "It's gonna be okay..." He croaks saying it more to himself this time. I hear him let out a small cry and I sob as my heart breaks again.
"It's okay. You were right baby. It's gonna be okay. It's alright. You have me. I'm here. I'll be here every step of the way baby. I promise." I say hugging him tighter. I force myself to stop crying and I dry my tears. Then I cup his cheek and look at him. "Come on. Help me get cleaned up? Let me distract you..." I whisper. He looks at me as I dry his tears. He nods at me and I smile a little. "Okay. Come on. Let's get cleaned up." I say softly. I gently kiss him and he nods into my kiss as he wraps his arms around me. He pulls me closer and kisses me a little rougher.
"I'm so glad you are okay. If I would have lost both of you I never would be able to recover." He says. I kiss him back just as rough and nod into him.
"I know. But I'm here. And I will recover. I promise. I'm not going anywhere." I say softly. He nods and kisses me one more time. I smile into the kiss a little. He pulls back and lays his head on mine. I close my eyes and stroke his hair.
"I'll get Killian to get us water." He says. I nod and peck his lips one more time before I let him go. He squeezes my hand as he walks off and as he closes the cabin door behind him I sigh, walking over to the desk and sitting down. I can hear them through the door since they are only in the hallway. "Killian!" I hear alex call. "Bring us some hot water. Serena is covered in Harry's blood and she's freaking out a little bit. This is really messing with her. Hurry please. I just need her better. Please." Alex says. I close my eyes and gulp opening them immediately because all I see when I close my eyes is Harry.
"Of course cap. Give me a few minutes to get it warmed up." Killian says.
"Hey big bro... how are you doing?" Ravens voice asks.
"I've been better. Obviously. I just lost my best friend and almost my girl. I'm kinda just... in shock. But having Serena is definitely helping. She eases the pain." He says. I stand up and walk to the door. I open it and gulp as I step out and they see me. I walk up to Alex and immediately he opens his arms and wraps me up in them. "Hey my love... you didn't have to come out here. I'm fine. I know seeing people probably isn't what you want right now." He says softly. I gulp and lay my head on his chest looking at raven.
"I know... but... I don't... I don't like being alone... every time I close my eyes all I see is him..." I whisper. He bites his lip and nods. He kisses my forehead.
"Yeah... I know the feeling baby." He says softly. Raven bites her lip.
"You don't take death very well do you?" She asks softly.
"Raven!" Alex snaps. I bite my lip and look down.
"No... I don't. Losing the people that I love... really messes with my head... I can hurt people if they deserve it. But I really don't like seeing people hurt that didn't deserve it. It hurts my heart... harry didn't deserve what happened to him." I whisper back to her as a few tears slip. "Especially when the person pays the price for trying to protect me. When people do things for me and they get hurt... that really.... really... messes with me..." I whisper. Alex sighs and rubs my back gently. Raven gulps and nods.
"She's strong when it comes down to it. But if you really want to hurt her... kill a loved one... this kind of life won't be good for you then..." she says. I clench my jaw a little. I let go of Alex and glare down at Raven as I tower over her.
"Look. Raven. I don't care who you are. This is not the time to be doing this to me! Okay? I'm not stable, and that could end very badly for you. Okay? Just leave me alone. Don't tell me what's good and bad for me. Only I can decide that. If I want this life I'll have this life. If I don't. Then I won't. Okay? Butt out." I snap at her. Her eyes widen for a second then she nods putting her hands up.
"Got it... my bad princess..." she says. I clench my jaw tighter and shake my head. I turn to Alex.
"Control your little child." I say then push past him and go back into the cabin slamming the door. I hear a growl and a punch.
  "Ow alex! My arm!" Raven says.
  "Nice going Raven! Learn to control your mouth! I know you are hurting too but you can't take it out on people. Especially Serena!" He says. "Control yourself." He says. "Tell Killian to knock when he's coming with the water." He says. Then I hear the door to the cabin open as I groan and lay on the bed. I stare up at the ceiling. Before long I feel a hand on my hip and it slides up my body as Alex climbs on top of me. I can't help my smile as I look up into his beautiful blue eyes. I sigh and run my fingers through his hair as he kisses my neck gently. I close my eyes and this time I don't see harry. All I feel is pure ecstasy. Alex's touch and him being around keeps the nightmares and visions and images of harry out of my head. I wrap my arms around his neck and tangle one hand in his hair and move my other down his back as he kisses my jaw.
  "I'm sorry I snapped at Raven..." I whisper as I bite my lip. He trails kisses up to my lips and gently kisses me. I smile a little into the kiss and kiss him back.
  "Don't worry about it. When she feels pain she takes it out on others. She deserved it." He says softly into my lips. I nod a little and push him over onto the bed and I hover over him now. He raises an eyebrow at me and bites his lip as I start to kiss on his collarbone and neck now. He moans softly. Tangling his hand in my hair now and grabbing my waist with his other hand. It sliding up my shirt a little bit. "Good God Woman..." he moans as his jaw drops while I find his sweet spot. "It's official. You are never allowed to go home. I'm gonna be selfish and keep you for myself." He says. I laugh a little and smash my lips on his. He grins into my lips and sits up wrapping his arms around my waist as he pulls me up into his lap and has me straddle him. I wrap my arms around his neck and peck his lips on last time. Then I pull back and look at him. I push his hair out of his face and cup his cheek. He smiles at me and strokes my cheek.
"How did this happen?" I laugh a little. "Us I mean. How did we happen? I was supposed to hate you and now I can't go a second without you touching me. Your kiss is like a drug that I can't get enough of and..." I trail off and laugh a little. "When you are around... I don't see harry when I close my eyes. I don't feel that pain as badly.... you take away my pain..." I whisper softly searching his face as he smiles at me. I smile back at him and he pecks my lips again.
"I was just about to ask you the same thing, my love." He says softly. I smile and lay my head on his. He pulls me closer and hugs me into him as I tighten my arms around his neck. I turn and look toward the cabin door as I hear Killian knock. I sigh and slide off of Alex's lap. I walk to the door and open it. Killian bites his lip as he sees me.
"Hey Serena..." he whispers. I smile a little and walk out to him as he sets the water down. I wrap my arms around him as he buries himself into my neck. I hug him tightly as he lets out a sob into me. I gulp and bury my face into his hair.
"Hey Killian..." I whisper softly. I hug him tighter and rub his back as he cries. "It's gonna be okay... okay? I promise. We will get through this together. All of us. I made a promise to take care of you guys. I'm not gonna break that. Okay? I'm gonna help you through this. No matter what." I say softly. He nods into me and I nod pulling back and cupping his cheeks. I dry his tears and smile a little at him. "It's gonna be okay sweetheart. I promise." I say. He nods and gulps.
I let him go and open the door wider. He grabs the giant bucket of water and walks in. Then I see Finn come down the hallway with the other large bucket of water. I move out of the way so he can come in. He comes in and puts the bucket down and goes out and brings in the bucket for me to bathe in. I back up and Alex comes up behind me and grabs my waist. He pulls me back into him and kisses my shoulder. I smile a little. Then I look at Finn as he sighs and looks up at me.
"Finn..." I say sadly as he bites back tears. Alex let's me go and I run up to him. He buries himself into me as I wrap my arms around his neck. I kiss Finns cheek softly and hug him tightly.
"He's gone... Harry's gone..." he whimpers into me. I bite my lip and gulp nodding a little fighting more tears.
"I know... but it's gonna be okay." I croak out my voice cracking with every word. "Like I told Alex and Killian. I'm gonna be here to help you through it every step of the way. Okay? I promised I'd take care of you. That id love you. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna protect you the best I can. Okay?" I ask softly. He nods into my shoulder and hugs me tighter. I open one arm up and Killian comes over and hugs us as well. I look over at Alex as the guys lay on my shoulders and look at him. "Come on tough guy... get over here..." I say softly.
He sighs and walks over to us and wraps all of us up in his arms. I smile as we all group hug. When we all let go of each other I look down at myself.
"I'm really sorry... it's not helping that his blood is all over me..." I whisper backing up from everyone and I strip my shirt, leaving me in my tank top and pants. I throw my bloody shirt into the fire and gulp as I watch it burn. Then I look down at myself again and see that my tank top is still just as bloody. I gulp and kinda start to shake a little as I keep looking at myself and remembering how it got there.
"Hey. Breathe. Remember what I told you. It's okay. We will get you cleaned up okay? I promise. It's okay baby..." Alex says cupping my cheek and making me look at him. I sniffle and nod a little. "Boys if you could give us a while to clean up... we will be up on deck to be with you guys when we are done." He says. Killian and Finn nod. They come over and squeeze my hands.
"If you are here for us... we are here for you. Okay?" They both say. I smile a little and nod.
"You don't have to be the tough one all the time love..." Finn says. "It's okay to cry and be sad." He says.
"Yeah. You went though a lot. He died in your arms Serena... we don't expect you to be strong all the time. Okay? It's okay to have your weak moments." Killian says. I nod at them and a few tear slip.
"Okay." I whisper back. They smile a little at me and dry my tears.
"We will be up on deck." They say. I nod and take a deep breath. They nod and leave the cabin. Closing the door behind them. Alex looks at me and kisses my forehead.
  "Come on, my Love." He says softly. He takes my hand and leads me to the tub. He pours the water into the tub and then looks at me. He almost seems nervous as he bites his lip and looks at me. Maybe even awkward. I furrow my eyebrows.
  "What's wrong?" I ask softly. He blushes a little. I smile at him. "You want to know if we can wash together so they don't have to heat more water. Don't you?" I ask with a smirk. He blushes harder. I laugh a little. I cup his cheek and kiss him passionately. "We can just bathe in our underwear. Don't be so nervous." I giggle into his lips. He grabs my waist and pulls me tightly into him.
  "Who said anything about being nervous." He growls into my lips and I moan into him. He runs his hands up my shirt and quickly pulls it off of me leaving me in my bra. He tangles his hands in my hair and kisses me harder. I moan again and grab the waistline of his pants and pull him tightly into me as I unbutton them. He kicks them off and goes back to kissing me, smashing his lips into mine. I tug on his hair and deepen the kiss and he moans into my lips. I smile and bite his lip as I pull his shirt off. He groans in pleasure as we pull back to throw his shirt to the ground. He attaches himself to my neck as he moves to take off my pants. My jaw drops and I lay my head back as he bites at my skin. He gets my pants off and then I jump up and wrap my legs around his waist tangling my hands in his hair as we find each other's lips again. He wraps his arms tightly around me and slowly steps into the tub, carrying me with him as I kiss him. He slowly sits down in the tub having me straddle him as we settle down into the water. He lets me go and slowly pulls back from the kiss as he looks at me. He searches my eyes and runs his hands through my hair as I bite my lip. I smile at him and kiss him more gently this time. He closes his eyes and kisses me back. After a second I pull back and grab the cloth from the dresser. I get it wet and start to wash his body. Scrubbing the blood off of his body as well. As I clean him off he starts to get my hair wet and starts to wash the blood out of my hair.
  After a while we trade and he cleans off my body of blood and I wash his hair out. When we finish I wrap my arms around his neck and sit down in his lap. He kisses me softly. I smile and stroke his cheek as I kiss him back. He looks at me and bites his lip as he runs his hands up and down my sides. He shakes his head at me. I smile a little wider.
  "What?" I laugh softly playing with his hair. He grins and shakes his head.
  "Nothing. I'm just trying to figure out how in the world I got here... the most beautiful girl in the world is bathing with me and kissing me." He says. I smile.
  "I don't know. I'm wondering the same thing..." I say softly. He smiles and sighs. 
  "I'm also trying to figure out how in the world you got me to feel the way I feel about you." He says softly. "No one has been able to accomplish this..." he whispers softly tucking my hair behind my ear. I smile and look him up and down in the water. Taking in every inch of his perfect body. Then I look back up at him.
  "And what feeling might that be, my love?" I ask softly kissing his jaw. He smiles and kisses me softly.
  "I love you." He says into my lips.