And now you're gone.

trying to love.

7th grade. How could I learn to love so young? Maybe it was your voice or your eyes. To bad nobody will ever know. Taylor I loved you. I loved you more than life itself. I guess you were my escape, when I would lie in your arms, I was safe. For 3 whole years I told you everything. I didn't need friends or anything else as long as I had you. I had a hard home life, but I covered it with a crooked smile and told everyone I was fine. You were different, you didn't care that I said I was fine you made it so easy for me to open up to you. I told you about my step dad and how he would hit my mom. How my mom would have a few to many. How my brother was always perfect. God you were my diary. I trusted you, loved you, fell head over hills for you. And you love me too, or at least I thought you did. You told me you did, and I listen. Because I trusted you. But just like that you slipped through my fingers. You were gone and you still had my heart. I finally worked up the courage to ask why you left,what I did wrong. You replied with "nothing, it's me not you." The typical thing to say to a girl when you don't want to hurt them but it was their fault. But over the next few months I finally got back to my self it took 7 months but I did it. I moved to Utah and started a new life "it's for the best." My mom said. Another month goes by and ur still crossing my mind some days. You were my first love we did everything together. I never thought that you would hurt me. But I was wrong. One day I was sitting in the park watching my little sister play and that's when you texted me, 8 months after I left. You asked me "do you really want to know there reason I left." I opened it but I didn't reply for an hour or two. I kept asking myself is it worth it? Should I text him back? With out thinking I replied with "more than anything." With in minutes you replied with "I cheated on you." I wasn't ok for a minute. I couldn't cry, I couldn't scream, I could barely breathe. I asked "with who." He said "madison" my heart sunk. I couldn't believe that you cheated on me, let alone with Madison, my ex best friend. She use to swim with us and got a little to close to you. I knew she liked you so I stopped letting her come around. But you two hung out behind my back for 5 months. Cheating on me. I told myself to let it go. I told myself I'm still young. You can love again. Here I am 1 year later still trying to fix what you broke. I haven't loved since you.