It sucks going unnoticed doesn't it? Barely recognized. It's almost as if you don't exist.
Well, I like him. We're ok when we are together. We are playful, flirty, happy. But we are just friends. Oh but I like more than just friends. But he doesn't realize that. I'm sure he thinks I'm happy that we're just friends. Or maybe he like me more than just friends, but doesn't like admitting it. He's a mystery. There's so little I know about him, yet there's so much he knows about me. Maybe I talk too much and I scare him of just a little bit. I don't know, but I'm sure I'm doing something wrong. Something not quite right. Maybe I laugh a little too hard. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I'm a little bit too moody, too loud, too quiet.
It's weird, because he acts kind gestures. He seems like he cares, but maybe he's like that with most girls he hangs with. We don't see each other too often, but maybe that's because I don't make an effort. Or maybe I did at some point but then gave up when he started to get scared off. I knew I was going wrong. I knew I fucked up somewhere down the line. But what does it matter? Because he doesn't notice me. I should stop noticing him. I need to get him out of my head. Get. Out. Of. My. Head. My head should be filled with family, friends, good grades, the future. Not some silly boy. He doesn't deserve the attention I'm giving him. He doesn't deserve the credit for being so burrowed in my mind. He doesn't even deserve me at all. That's just it. Maybe I'm not his type. Maybe he likes shy girls. Maybe he likes more confident girls. Maybe he likes curvier girls. Maybe he likes skinner girls. He could like taller girls. Girls with longer hair. Girls with bigger breasts. Girls who aren't afraid of anything. Maybe that's my problem. I'm scared of everything. I'm too scared to make a move, which could seem unappealing?
Of course I'm afraid of making the move. I'm telling someone how I feel about them, with the possibility of them not feeling the same way. With the possibility of them telling people about it. Or maybe you're loyal and you would respect me for telling you so?
Oh why do I like you? You eyes? Your smile? Your chin? Your hands? Your openness? Your kindness? They way your hair falls perfectly in place? The way you're so tough yet so sensitive. The way you can always cheer me up? Oh why do I like you? Why do I feelings exist? They just chew you up and spit you out. That's what you could end up doing to me. Who knows.
Please, I'm begging. Get out of my head.
