'I can't do it anymore, can't do this anymore. It's my own self that's killing me, everything is my fault. I need to be free, I need a break. I can't keep living life pretending that everything's okay. Somebody see me, somebody save me, somebody help me.'
I looked at myself one last time in the bathroom mirror, the dark circles beneath my eyes and the protruding of my bones through my skin. Over a span of three weeks, I dropped from my already low 180 to a pathetic 155 pounds. I wasn't hungry, there was nothing that I wanted to eat for. I was broken, there was never a day when I wouldn't cry myself to sleep. Every single person has said it, I am weak. I am just a whiney little kid that needed people to look after me, who couldn't do shit without help. I was useless, hopeless, worthless. It would be a blessing for all the people around me if I would just leave.
With useless tears streaming down my cheeks and trembling hands, I lifted the gun up towards my chest. 'Just do it! It would be for the best. Do it! Pull the fucking trigger! You know nobody's going to miss you, anyways. Nobody can stop you this time. Just do it, put yourself and everybody else out of their misery. There isn't one person who will miss you, not one. Nobody cares. Pull the trigger, Steph!'
With a final sob, I pressed the barrel of the gun to the middle of my chest. 'I don't want to die quickly, I wanted to feel the pain, the same pain I made everybody around me suffer through. Nobody deserved it, nobody but me. I didn't deserve to make everybody around me miserable too. It's time.' I pulled the trigger. Everything slowed, the earth was barely moving. Soon, I was on the ground, the gun somewhere on the bathroom floor. A blistering pain shot through my body, but it was nice, calming.
Knowing that I was about to die didn't seem as scary as I thought it would. A faint smile crossed my lips at the thought of how everybody would react at the news. 'They'll smile when the story headlines every newspaper and floods the internet. "Stephen Curry Dead, Everybody Else Happy".' My breathing was starting to grow heavy, as were my eyelids. The room was growing darker as my limbs began turning numb, the faintest ache flooding my chest.
"Baby, I'm home... Steph, where are you?" My eyes shot open at the faint sound of Klay's voice. He shouldn't be home, he's not supposed to see me until I'm dead already. I found myself not caring anymore, I'm going to die anyways, there's nothing anybody could do to stop it anymore. He was too late. I let my eyes close again as I relaxed, feeling my soul seep into the ground with every last breath I took.
"Steph?" His voice was getting closer. He was walking up the stairs. I didn't answer, letting myself be set free, willing my death to come sooner. As I felt my eyes unable to reopen and darkness overcoming me, I heard the door swing open and a hysterical scream rang through the house. "STEPH! NO!" A pair of arms lifted my body up, Klay burying his head into my neck as he hugged me close.
"No... No... Why? Why would you do this? Don't leave me, baby... Please, stay with me... I love you so much... Don't leave me." As my final breaths passed my lips, I smiled softly. "I-It's okay. I know y-you don't mean that... Y-You don't have to keep lying... You'll be okay... I-I'll always love you, K-Klay... I love you s-so much." He ran a hand through my hair and kissed my forehead as I slipped into a welcoming, never ending slumber that was the end of my life.
A final exhale and I was gone, forever lost in the afterlife that I longed to experience for so long. I felt so at peace with myself. I felt free, accepted and loved by God, belonging to him. I was finally where I had always wanted to be, in Heaven.
