Homeless

chapter 3

"Hey Luke"

"Yes mommy?"

"I love you Lucas. Don't ever forget that mommy loves you. Okay?"

"But why mommy. I don't want to go I wanna be with you and daddy, I promise I'll be a good boy mommy I'm sorry please don't leave me I love you mommy don't go."

"Bye baby.."

"Mommy no-"

"Luke."

No stop

"Luke,"

No stop. Don't leave me stop it, come back.

"Luke!"

I jump up from the covers and instantly meet Bella's worried eyes.

"Luke?" She brings her hand up to my cheek carefully, "a-are you okay?" I slap her hand away from me.

"I'm fine."

"Luke I heard you screaming I just wanted to-"

"I said I'm fucking fine."

-Bella

"Please don't leave me I love you mommy."

What the fuck?

"Mommy no." I hear Luke scream from his room and before I realize what I'm doing, I'm already calling his name trying to shake him from his nightmare.

"Luke." I whisper in his ear, but he says nothing. "Luke," I say again and shake him lightly.

"No.... stop it.."

"Luke!" He shoots up out from the covers and I slowly place my hand on his cheek. "Luke? ... are you okay?"

I was expecting a no and for him to dramatically pull me into a bone crushing hug, maybe even some tears to stream down his face and for him to tell me that he wasn't okay and very far from it.

Maybe I was expecting him to sit me down on his bed and talk to me about the nightmare that he had just woken up from, or about the other ones that he has been having these past few weeks. All I know is that I was expecting anything but what he did.

Luke would never reject my comfort, especially at the moments where he needs it the most, or so I thought.

"I'm fine." He flatly responds, though I know he isn't fine. He looks like he had just seen a ghost, his face is pale and his blue eyes are glossed over with tears that threaten to spill but he still remains with his face hard and jaw tensed.

How could he sit here and lie right to my face? He was just screaming in his sleep for the third night in a row, we both know that he is not fine.

"Luke I heard you screaming I just wanted to-"

"I said I'm fucking fine."

At first I was shocked at the words that had just left his mouth but then I suddenly snap out of it and finally loose my never-ending patience with everyone and everything.

"I can tolerate you not wanting to talk about this and rejecting my comfort even when I know that you need me. I know that right now all you need is a friend but I do not like the fact that you are sitting here lying right to my fucking face so cut the shit I know you're not fucking fine."

Honestly, by that look on his face right now he is probably thinking who the hell am I and what did I do with Bella; but I had to say something. I shouldn't have snapped at him like that but he deserved it, every night I come running in here and waking him up but he has always replied with ' I'm fine. '

"Bella... I.. I can't just, I-"

"You can't what Luke?"

"Nothing. Goodnight." He lays down and pulls the cover over his shoulder with his back facing towards me. I sigh and decide to give up.. for now.

"Fine. We'll talk tomorrow, goodnight."

-Luke

What the hell is wrong with me? Bella didn't do anything wrong for me to treat her that way I know it's not her fault and all she wanted to do was help but my anger, once again, got the best of me.

I have never talked about my parents to anyone and I feel bad for snapping at Bella but it is just too much of a sensitive subject for me. Bella knows that but I don't think that she fully understands only because I knew my mom and dad before I ended up here, she didn't.

She likes to fantasize about a perfect life and a perfect family but I can't blame her, she only knows one thing about her family and she is determined to find out everything else. I wouldn't expect for me to understand about her situation either, being put up for adoption shortly after her birth and never being adopted after 16 years. Having to be transferred around the country because she 'caused too much trouble' at her recent adoption center.

I don't know how she even found out about anything of her family, they are forbidden to tell us. But somehow Bella had managed to find out that she had a twin sister.