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❥ chapter 9

[ y/n ]
[ a/n : I'm updating a lot lately since I won't be able to this week since my semester is over now . . :( I just wanted to point out I kinda changed the POV for this chapter so yeah felt as if I need to write in first person instead of in third or whatever ]

I sat up panting furiously. Just a dream . . I thought relieved. I was sweating profusely and the tank top was sticking onto my wet skin. As I threw the covers off I felt the cold air hit me like a bullet against my exposed skin. It was cold and after all that sweating I found myself shivering.

What time is it . ? I questioned myself as I got up from the wet bed. I had left the mattress soaked in my sweat. Embarrassed I cover the bed and hoped no one where to see this.

I slipped into the baby pink slippers I had been given by Mafuyu. They were extremely soft and fluffy , they suited her.

I made my way down the stairs. Each step was silent and I found myself searching for Yukisada upon arriving at the living room. No body there . . Maybe he was in his room ? I hoped as I continued creeping towards his room.

"Yukisada . ."

I spoke. I didn't want to disturb him , and I was still mildly ashamed to just have gone to bed without seeing him throughout the whole day.

I crept towards the entrance and peeked my head through the door frame. I was surprised when I saw that his own room was as empty as the living room had been. Odd . . Maybe he had gone out early.

I decided I would make some breakfast for when he arrived. It wouldn't be nearly as good as Yukisadas cooking but I at least hoped it was eatable.

✞

I had finished cooking breakfast. Omurice and toast. I was ashamed of myself upon tasting the burnt rice. I had no other choice than to eat the badly made breakfast. As I silently ate the "terrific" breakfast I had made with my own two hands I found myself thinking about Shirogane , thinking about the way I unintentionally hurt him. I wasn't intending to hurt his feelings.

I scrunched my nose as I bit into a lump of burnt rice , the omurice could almost be mistaken for coal by how badly it was burnt.

I shook my head in disappointment as I threw away the left overs. I was gonna go and search up Shirogane and apologise.

I made my way up the stairs and changed into my outfit. In the closet a new jacket was hanging from one of the hangers. Yesterday Yukisada was making me a new jacket. I felt a bit guilty for making him work for me like this.

I took the jacket and examined it. It was more of a dress now that I looked at it closely. It was like Rocmas but knee high. The dress had  6 indigo buttons on the torso accompanied with white furred hems. It had a white rounded collar with a marine blue ribbon hanging from it. The dress itself was white as the snow.

I stared at the dress in awe for what felt like an eternity before actually putting it on. It fit like a glove on me and at that moment my ego rose but I felt the best I had felt ever since I had gotten here. I put on a pair of thigh high stockings. They where white and matched with the rest of the outfit. My black fuzzy boots made quite the contrast against the pearly white outfit but I didn't mind.

I twirled in front of the life sized mirror before skipping down to the hallway. I flung the door open and proudly made my way out. I didn't quite know what to say to Shiro other than apologise but I figured I'd make something up.

I approached the cave which was only a couple of meters away from Yukisadas home.

I didn't notice until now but I was quite nervous. As I stood outside the cave entrance I pondered how Shiro would react to me barging into his home. I gulped but decided to enter.

I crept into the cave , slowly making my way into the dark cavern. My steps echoed in the darkness. I wasn't sure where I was heading. It began to clear up and before me two different paths where presented. I shifted my gaze from one path to the other but decided to take the left one.

I continued and it only got darker from that point on. Dreadfully I decided to call after Shiro , embarrassed that I hadn't done it sooner.

"Shiro . . It's me [ y/n ]"

I called out hoping for an answer. But there was no answer. only the heavy silence from the dark abyss ahead of me. I continued walking none the less.

"Shiro I-I want to talk to you"

I stuttered. It was cold and even with the fuzzy dress on the cold made my teeth chatter.

A low grunt was heard just a bit into the cave and it caught me by surprise. I stopped right in my tracks to hear after the sound again. A moment went by but I was sure I had heard something. I slowed down my breathing so I could hear it better.

"Hnghhh"

And surely there it was again , that low grunt. Was he hurt? In pain ? I shook my head . I had too talk to him specially now that I don't know if he's doing alright.

"Shiro! Shiro it's me I'm coming!"

I shouted as I began to speed into the cave. I couldn't see where u was stepping and I slipped on something. I moaned in pain as I tried to see what the substance laying on the ground was that had caused me to fall. In the dark I couldn't see much and I didn't dare to touch it at the time either. I limped up my leg hurting from the fall. I figured I must of sprained my ankle since I was in an unbearable pain at the time.

I supported myself against the caverns wall. It was quiet for a moment and I could hear a faint mumbling in the distance. It went quiet and seconds later I heard Shiro shout. His voice was clear and he couldn't be much further Into the cave.

"[ y-y/n ] . . I don't want you here . . Go ! L-leave ! I don't want to speak to you . !"

I stopped. And so did my heart beat for a second. I was quite stunned he couldn't be serious. .

"Sh-Shiro . ?"

I called out. I couldn't move. I was paralysed. My body felt heavy and I couldn't believe what he was saying. Did I really hurt him that bad ?

"G-go I don't want to talk to you . ."

His voice was raspy. I was hoping he'd change his mind. I called after him.

"Shiro im-"

You where interupted by yet another grunt , this time louder.

"I said GO! I don't want you here . ."

I didn't want to leave. I nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me. I was speechless. I limped towards the exit and traced my footsteps back to where I came from. It took me a while to get back to the entrance seeing how my leg was injured. Not only that but my heart was injured as well. I noticed after the incident if today that all I am capable of is hurting the ones around me. I heaved a sigh that had been choking me as I finally saw the clearing of the exit.

I left without looking back. I couldn't. I felt ashamed of myself , by the way I unintentionally hurt the few people who care for me.

I decided that I wanted to be alone as well. At least for today . .