Reckless and Relentless- An Asking Alexandria Fanfic

Chapter 18

  I shut myself in the bedroom and sat in the corner of the room and put my head down, fighting back tears. No. I will not cry on my birthday. I heard a knock on the door and before I could say, "Go away," Ben walked in.

  "Are you okay?" he sat down next to me. "Yep. I'm fine." He put his arm around me. "No, you're not. I don't know why you would do that to yourself. But I do know the big vertical ones aren't just cuts. And I can tell a few of them have been done since you've been with us.

  "I know shit gets rough in life. I know you wanna control the pain you're feeling inside. It brings you clarity, and when you do it, you get a few moments where everything is okay. But what do you REALLY get out of it?

  Yeah, it's masking your pain. But it doesn't solve it. You may be hurting yourself physically, but when you do that, it's hurting the people who love you mentally. It makes them hurt like you do. Do you want someone to share your pain? Or help get rid of it?"

  I was sobbing by now. "I want it gone..." I blubbered. He hugged me tighter. "Then you need to get actual help, Charlotte. Talk to a therapist. Get on meds, just don't abuse them. Find alternatives to cutting." "But I've tried so hard, so many times. I just can't do it."

  "Now stop it. Stop right fucking there. You CAN stop cutting. As a matter of fact you're fucking GOING to stop. I don't believe in putting hands on a woman in any unwelcome way but if I ever find another cut on you ever again I WILL slap the shit out of you."

  I nodded and buried my face in his shoulder. "Why do you do it? What drives you to putting a blade into your skin?" "Lots of shit. Like you said, pain, control..." I whispered, barely able to find my voice.

  "Okay, well since you've been here with us, what's made you do it?" he asked. "The first night I was here, and last night when my mom got brought up..." I cried even harder. "Fucking prick... Why don't you like hearing about your mom?"

  "She.. Um... She killed herself, overdosed then slit her wrists.When I was 16. That's why I was living with Chloe." Chloe and Stormi had been the only ones I had ever told that to, but I felt so strangely comfortable telling Ben. "Did you try it before or after her?"

  I told him it was after, but that she wasn't the only reason I did it. "Then why?" I shook my head. I had said enough; I didn't wanna talk about it anymore.

  There was another knock on the door. "Charlotte? You okay hun?" I heard Stormi ask. I sighed, stood up, and opened the door. I quickly pulled her inside and shut the door, not wanting Danny to see me crying.

  She didn't say anything, just hugged me really tight. "Darlin you'll be okay." she recited the line from Pierce the Veil's "Hold On Till May." "I know..." I said. "Think you can face people?" Ben asked me. I sighed. "As long as I can fix my makeup and no one asks me questions about why I ran out."

  "Will do." Ben said, and left to make sure they wouldn't. "Want me to stay here?" Stormi asked me. "Nah, I wanna be alone for a minute." "Just don't do something stupid." she kissed my cheek and walked out.

  I grabbed my makeup from my bag and walked into the bathroom in our room. Most of my makeup was fine, it didn't need fixing, but my eyeliner was now non-existant. I pulled it out of my bag and went to work on it.

***Danny's POV***

  Ben walked out of the bedroom and said, "Charlotte is okay, but no one is allowed to ask why she ran out. Her request, my fuckin orders." Then he looked at me. "Danny, I need to talk to you. Outside."

  I jumped up and followed him into the hallway, grabbing a beer on the way. "The fuck's going on, Ben?" He sighed and shut the door. "Ben, what the fuck is going on?"

  "Your girl... Charlotte is um... She has some problems. It's not my place to say anything, and if you ask her I WILL punch you in the face, but what I can tell you is that you can't pull your normal shit with this girl. I honestly don't think she's strong enough."

  "First off, that's my fucking girlfriend you're talking about, so you're gonna tell me what she fucking said to you. Second, what fucking 'normal shit'?" I was pissed, and I had every right to be.

  "Danny, no. You'll understand when SHE feels like telling you." I chugged half my bottle before answering him. "Uh huh. And what fucking 'normal shit?'" I asked him. I wanted to get back to Charlotte and make sure she was okay.

  "Let's face it Danny. You meet a girl, you fuck her. If she's good, you keep her around for awhile. But you have countless other girls on the side, and soon as you're bored with her, she never hears from you again." As much as I wanted to argue that, he was right.

  I sighed and took another drink of my beer. "Danny, she isn't one of them. She isn't another girl you can play with like all the others." Ben said. "Don't you think I know that, Ben? I realize she isn't another whore like the other girls we meet.

  "So she has problems. I do too! But her problems don't fucking matter to me. You're right, she's not like other girls. She's better than them. And I'll be keeping her around as long as I fucking can."