Love of A Bully

Love of a bully: Part 1

Well, here I am. The first day of senior year. It's going to be one of the longest, loneliest years of my life. Then again, every year of my high school life has been lonely and hell. I have no friends, have to deal with cliques and other bullies, and the worst part my parents don't even care.

I go through major depression, and when I attempted suicide, my dad left me, and my idiot stepfather came in. God, I can't wait for college to start. The only reason I'm even going is for my mom to get off my back about shit that's not even my fault. Literally, all I do is hibernate in my room with food and Netflix. Hell, that's the best days for me.

Speaking of school, I should really get out of bed and get ready to go to the place where people trigger me every day. As I was getting out of bed, my mom came banging on my door. 

"Mom, alright, I'm up," I mumbled loudly.  I get up and take a quick shower. As I get, I glance a look at myself in the bathroom mirror. I hate myself. The way I look is goddamn awful. I have brown eyes and straight brown hair, the worst part of it all is how fat I am. I'm not 600-pound life fat but fat. I've been called ugly a thousand and one times; it's at the point I'm starting to believe them. I never had boyfriends when girls my age,17, had plenty. 

I leave the bathroom in disgust to get dressed. I picked up a random t-shirt, and it happens to be a We Came As Romans shirt, and just threw on skinny jeans. I look at the time and realize I'm really going to be late. I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs.  

"Finally, you're up," my dad said, reading his newspaper. 

"I'm leaving now, dad," I said

"you got 15 minutes!" he yells as I leave and slam the door. There's a good chance I'll hear about that later. I arrived at school about 30 minutes later.

"Late. The perfect way to start the senior year," my principal tells me. She gives me my schedule, and I head over to my first-period class. Math. great. I go up to the 5th floor feeling anxious as fuck. I took 3 deep breathes and enter the classroom with everyone staring at me. I hear a few snickers and whispers but ignore them as I talk to my teacher.

"Name?" he asks me

"Vannessa,"

"Hunts?" he asks again, and I nod my head. "Take a seat next to Claire," I lost my breath when he said that. Claire and her group of friends love to mess and harass people. Especially me. 

"Um..is there another seat for me to take?"

"Nope, sit, the class has started, and you're distracting it even more." "Yeah, sit down," some boy yelled, agreeing with him. Some others in the class joined as well. I just gave in and went to go sit down. As I walked to my seat, one of Clair's friends tried to trip me, but I quickly caught my balance. I sit in my seat, and Claire is just staring at me.

"Ew," she said and turned to her boyfriend, Ashton. she tells him something, but I don't know what. probably something about me. "Mr.Haye, an Ashton and I switch seats?"

"Why?"

"Vanessa likes to bother people while working, and I need to focus in this class,"

"What?? I barely say-"

"switch with Ashton Claire," Mr.haye said, cutting me off.

"Bye, Shadow girl," she says, getting up and walking away.

"I  have a name," I said, but she didn't care.

"Yea? and what would that be, shadow girl?" Ashton said, sitting next to me with a smile on his face. I kind of smiled also. He has a beautiful smile I could stare at all day. 

"It's not shadow girl, its-"

"Ashton!" Claire snapped to get his attention."

"Yeah"

"No one talks to shadow girl. The last time a guy tried to talk to her, she threw up in front of him."

"omg, I remember that," some girl yelled out. Ashton burst out laughing.

"Gross," he said to me. I rolled my eyes and laid my head on the table. That event happened two years, and when this guy finally decided to talk to me, I was extremely sick that day.

"More like Barf girl than shadow girl." more than half the class laughed, and I realized that today was going to be along day.

~~~~~~~~~~LUNCH~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally lunch. A Time to be by myself. I stood in line to get food when I saw Claire and her group skip everyone. I heard some complaints, but they didn't care, obviously. I just rolled my eyes and got my food. As I'm walking to find my table to sit at, someone trips. Luckily the food didn't get on me, but I was still kind of embarrassed. I looked up to see who did it and it was Zoe, Claires best friend.

"Had a nice trip?" the entire table laughed, and so did the table next to it.

"Nice line, not original but A for effort," I said, standing and rushing out the cafe, trying to avoid crying. I tried but failed as tears fell when I entered the girl's bathroom. With Claire, in almost all my classes, my day has been complete shit. I scratched my arm to that thought. And scratched harder and harder with every thought of Claire. Blood started to show, so I cried a bit harder. I stayed in the bathroom until lunch was over. I calmed down when I washed my arms from the blood and left.

I left the bathroom to my chemistry class, hoping that Claire wasn't there. Luckily she wasn't, but Ashton was. he was sitting by himself but talked to 3 other guys.  I always see them around, but I don't know their names. The seat next to Ashton was the only seat available, so I had no choice but to sit next to him. 

He chuckled as I sat next to him, "You're not going to barf on me, are you?" he said, smiling and looking at me. I just looked at him then back upfront. "I mean, we are in chemistry, so we'll be getting dirty anyway." he laughed softly. I just sighed and looked down. There are many reasons why I don't want to get caught talking to Ashton. 1. alone with Claire, he's the most popular guy in school. 2. he's probably only talking to me to set up a joke. 3. it could make things worse for me here and so on. so I just ignored him. I realized that the scars I made during lunch was showing and he was staring. So I quickly switched the bracelets from my right arm to my left to hide them.

As the bell rang, I rushed out to my locker. I saw Ashton approaching me until Claire got to him first. I watched them0 kiss and slammed my locker door to leave.