Guardian

Chapter 2- New people, Old memories (unedited)

I wish I didn't have to lie. I wish I could let you know.

I use to beg for your mercy, without knowing my sins. I'd cry every night with the frustration of what I had not yet done wrong. I reaped what I had not yet sown. I was a fool. For you. But now I sit here idly, waiting for you but I will beg no more. I will wait but not for long. The season is coming to an end and I know I will be vulnerable no longer. Sitting alone waiting for you has made me realise I faulted nobody but myself. I'll thank you for that for showing me I am not weak and I do not need you to carry my journey onwards... I need no one but myself or so I'll make myself believe.

• • •
Unknown P.O.V

"So let's start with these hallucinations you're experiencing". The dull woman asked as she stared down at her notepad, clicking annoyingly on the back of the pen. My mind was blank staring at a dull grey wall.

I sighed as I relaxed my back onto the uncomfortable chair, spreading my legs out, trying my best to relax. I had been to a million people, heard this exact question every time but none of them ever helped. I closed my eyes looking now into a black abyss.

"It starts with the burning sensation like my hands are being held in a bowl of boiling water, then I begin seeing my hand covered in a fluorescent blue tint, like the gas coming from a lighter and just like a fire, it spreads... the blue slowly gets lost as orange flames spread across my hands, eating up my arm". I explained carefully and so slowly.

I listened to the sound of her pen hit the rough paper of the notebook, scribbling down and trying to understand what I had just said.

"Right, is there any specific time they occur? And do any other symptoms accompany this hallucination?". She asked with her stern but most polite voice, it bothered me a lot, I just wanted a causal conversation with a stranger that understood me.

"When I'm feeling too much of one emotion".

"Like for anger for instance?". She investigated further.

"Exactly". I said in a bored almost rude tone.

"Okay, and the other question I asked?". She probed with her irritating voice.

"Voices, I hear voices".

• • •

Nadia's P.O.V

My eyes struggled to open, it felt like a ton of weight was holding them down, holding my body down too. It was painful, I almost asked myself, 'when was the last time I had felt pain?', then it came to me. Everything came running to me, the memories, the dark memories of last night... My head shot up, my eyes wide open. I felt it all again, the internal feelings and the rough grip of his hand on my wrist. I groaned clenching my jaw tightly. The entirety of me ached with a outrageously sweet pain; it was as if my whole body had gone numb and was now recovering. I tried to forgot about it for a minute, I closed my eyes and I turned slightly but an immense pain struck my back bone setting me in a state of ghostly paralysis. I felt like crying out and never stopping. A tear rolled down my face as I forced myself to sit up. A million thoughts and question ran through my head.

Why did he do it? How did I get home? Was it a dream? Is there something wrong with me? Can he just leave me alone? Am I going to die? What the hell did I do to deserve this life? Nothing at all... As if my life wasn't already a mess, more rubbish had been added to my ever-growing pile. Stress invaded me, I could feel my blood pressure getting higher with every negative thought.