*This fanfic is multinarrated, meaning one chapter is narrated by Troye, and the next by Tyler, and so on.*
CHAPTER 1- TROYE - FINALLY
So there we were, Tyler Oakley and I, on a stage with dozens of people in the audience. The lights were bright, but not bright enough to blind us. We still saw the fans eyes on us, watching our every move. I looked at Tyler. He was so perfect. His face, his eyes, his glasses, his hair, his laugh, his smile, UGH. Everything about him just made me want him even more. I just wanted him to be mine. I just wanted to...to...
"Kiss him!" Someone in the audience screamed. I snapped out of my silly little daydream and tore my eyes away from Tyler. I knew that every little glance I made toward him would be overanalyzed, filmed, and blogged about by the fans. Not that I didn't like that- that's cool and fun. I was just so worried that Tyler might... I don't know. I both want and don't want Tyler to know my feelings toward him. And the fans? They don't help much with that. They really make it painfully obvious.
"Kiss!" Someone screamed again. Korey Kuhl, our lovely host for the evening at DigifestUK was smiling broadly. Tyler looked...uneasy? nervous? excited? I couldn't tell. He's always been so hard to read.
"So I think we've all been wondering the same thing...Is Troyler real?" Korey said into the mic and looked directly at me. I turned to see all eyes on me, even Tyler was glancing my way. I found it so hard not to laugh. All these people expect me to know the answer to the question I've asked myself since I first met Tyler? HA! I allowed myself to smile at simply the fact that they ALL seemed to think that I knew the answer. Well, I knew what I was SUPPOSED to say. The usual:
"Tyler and I are just friends," I said, putting my hand on Tyler's shoulder. It honestly pained me to say that, but I refused to let anyone see that, so I continued smiling. I went on to discuss how Tyler raised 500K for the Trevor Project. I started to get nervous. My palms got sweaty and my heartbeat quickened. The whole time I was talking, I was having an argument with myself in my head.
'Do I do it?' I asked myself. 'Do I...Do I kiss him?' Suddenly I thought, 'No, no I can't kiss Tyler. I can't take a risk like that. I'll do a stage kiss, they'll never know.'
"Without further ado," I said to the audience as I leaned toward Tyler. The blood rushed from his face.
"What? Um, Troye I thought..." Tyler said quickly and quietly to me as I leaned closer to his face. We were so close to eachother, almost touching. So close that I could have just kissed him right then...
"It will be a stage kiss. Don't worry, I won't actually kiss you, Tilly," I said, reasurring both Tyler and myself. After all, it's just a stage kiss. It doesn't mean anything, right? Just a harmless stage kiss.
It started to feel very hot and claustrophobic. I wiped a hand on my jeans and took a deep breath.
"One," my palms were still sweaty. "Two," my voice began to shake. "Three," my heartbeat went through the roof.
On camera the kiss was fairly short. In real life? It seemed infinite.
I leaned in to a nervous looking Tyler and put my hand on his cheek, positioning my thumb over his mouth for the stage kiss. 'Tyler shut his eyes. I'll never now why. It was never meant to be real.
I kissed that thumb and I kissed it good as frick but all the while I wondered why I was making out with a thumb when Tyler Oakley's lips are a few centemeters away from mine. I felt Tyler jolt back a little in shock before I realized...I wasn't kissing a thumb anymore. I was kissing lips. Tyler Oakley's lips. I was kissing Tyler Oakley. I was just about to pull away after noticing what I had done, but Tyler leaned deeper into the kiss. Frick, his leg even shot up. Was it to balance himself? Was the kiss that good? Could it mean anything? Again, I'll never know. What I do know is that this moment of kissing Tyler Oakley was infinite. We were no longer Troye Sivan and Tyler Oakley on a stage at DigifestUK in front of dozens of people. The audience fell away. The cameramen fell away. There were no sounds. I didn't know right from wrong just then. I didn't question if kissing im was right or wrong. All I know is that in that moment, everything felt right. Everything fell away but me and Tyler, and his lips on mine. We were just two bodies in an open space. There was complete silence in that moment. And that was the greatest damn silence I ever heard. And I wanted to stay there forever.
But I guess forever isn't free. I'm not sure what snapped me out of it, but suddenly all the noises and people came flooding back to me all at once. The pure shock at what I had done tore my lips away from Tyler's. In a daze, I yelled, "Finally!" And I ran the frick off of that stage as fast as I could. I don't know where I was going or if I was even supposed to leave the stage. All I knew is that was the greatest kiss I had ever had in my life.
