Ambivalent

Fists

Setting the last plate down with a gruff sigh, Katsuki dries his hands via an incandescent glow- droplets of murky, soap-riddled water sizzling in unison before evaporating into wisps of steam. It was a habit; a small, absentminded usage of his quirk that he'd been doing since childhood, and it was so second nature at this point that he'd barely registered it all. Yet, as the palms of his hands cool and he dreadfully turns to face Izuku, he's startled to find the other beaming a huge, sugary smile towards him.

Correction: A creepy, weird ass fucking smile that made his skin crawl.

The shorter boy's arms were pulled to his chest excitedly, gaze darting repeatedly from Katsuki's face to his hands; and he swears Deku's smile is legit lighting up the room, green eyes teeming with something akin to amazement as they burn brightly against his own. A rosy hue dusts over Izuku's sun-kissed cheeks, and the lingering admiration in that expression makes the blonde's stomach drop with a harsh jolt.

Deku hadn't looked at him like that in ages.

He used to- in fact, during their childhood it was a staple of their relationship. Katsuki did something, Izuku was in awe. It was a cycle that, as a child, had been welcomed- yet, as their friendship had soured into the festering shitpile it was in middle school, those wide-eyed looks filled with wonderment instead turned to shaky, fearful glances. Those, too, had been welcomed- and even though they weren't as warm or loving, they had still appeased his fourteen year-old self's massive ego.

Nowadays, however, Izuku didn't regard him with either expression. Izuku wasn't amazed by him, nor was he scared, and it was annoying as shit. Ever since that day at the stream, the other's face held nothing but patronizing pity for him, and now adoration filled looks were reserved for everyone else in their class.

He grits his teeth. 'That's fine.' The thought is laced with bitterness, and the sheer contempt radiating off those words causes his skin to prickle; jaw clenching in an attempt to hold back a sneer. It didn't fucking matter. He was gonna crush all of them anyways, shitnerd included.

Katsuki feels the distinct sting of ire trickling into his veins, and when their eyes meet a brontide of anger practically floods throughout his very being. God, he's really had enough of Deku for one damn day.

"The fuck's up with you?" Annoyance flares in his core, expression hardening as he shoves his dry hands into the recesses of his pockets- fingers gripping into a tight fist. The overwhelming giddiness in the other's demeanor was making him feel weird, and the long-forgotten sensation of being the center of Izuku's attention sent jolts of something warm and electric up his spine. It almost makes him shiver, forcing the hair on his neck to stand on end, and it's pissing him off.

That stupid fucking expression was eliciting unwanted, dormant feelings- feelings he didn't know how to decypher, though he didn't want to understand them anyways. Fuck, he just wants to wipe that look off Deku's face- he'd throw him, and those dumbass emotions, in the trash if he could.

None of it mattered. Feelings weren't going to get him to the top- understanding his own weird-ass emotions wasn't going to make him the number one hero.

"I just haven't seen you do that in so long, Kacchan! I didn't know you still did it like that- it's so cool!" Izuku blurts, arms flailing in elation as the exclamation leaves his lips with an excited, bubbling laughter. It's mirthful and light, filled with ecstaticism, and Katsuki can't help but marvel as the sound replays continuously in his mind like a melody.

Honestly, the fact that his ears weren't bleeding shocked him. Everything Izuku did was just so...unbearable. So familiar, yet too foreign all in one big package of garbage that distinctly reeked of Midoriya Izuku; Deku's existence was a contradiction- an enigma...one that had been plaguing him for way too goddamn long.