Critiques and Reviews [OPEN]

The Trauma Chronicles (Book One- Trauma)

Author:  @Realsiriusproblem

Genre: General Fiction

Status: On-going  

[Cover & Title]

I really like the picture on the cover, it's unique and makes me wonder what kind of girl your character is. The title gives me a sense that this book could be a dark redemption, but not too much is given away. It's very obscure and enthralling at the same time. I like it! 

4/5 

(I had to take one point away because of the text of your cover. It looks incompetent.)

[Book description]

It's really short and lacking in some areas, you need to add a bit more information to draw in readers. There are many things you can put into your summary without giving away the whole image. For example; you can explain more about your character by defining... what makes her interesting? And How? these are the two main things that will make you gain readers. You are also missing a few commas and periods. I also suggest you try and make it stand out more by using compelling keywords and try to use a great first line.

2/5

[Plotline]

The concept of your book is not clear, there are many things you need to work on. Such as; Character development, story setting, description, and point of views. When writing a POV you don't need to explain that it's still focused on the same character, furthermore, it gets really aggravating when you keep switching perspectives, this is needless and will certainly make you lose readers. Your character development is not strong, and the way Raven and James are characterized is unclear because there's not much description that's given to them for readers to grasp. Also, your story setting is very hazy and needs improvement. I advise you to plan your plot more attentively and don't rush it.

2/5

[Grammar and Punctuation]

There were many grammatical & punctuation errors that I noticed. Such as; sentence structure, repetition, fragment, run-on sentence, wrong word usage, grammar, punctuation, quotation and probably more. First off, whenever there's a new subject always make a new paragraph! Secondly, repetitive words can be a pain in the butt and I found a few in your chapters, so try to cut down on them. Thirdly, there were many sentences that could've combined together without a period standing in the way, and I noticed there were run-on sentences that had no comma, and the ones that did were placed in the wrong area. You need to learn how to use a comma and a period, it's the basic fact you need to know in writing. Some of the words you've used in your paragraphs do not make sense at all, I suggest you look over that. In addition, your grammar is really bad. There are words missing in your chapters causing a major problem with your sentence flow, and you're forgetting to capitalize the beginning of your sentences. There are also a lot of commas and periods missing, and being used wrongly! Moreover, every time there is a different speaker (in other words quotation) always make a new paragraph, it is confusing and annoying when you have both the same speaker in the same sentence. Lastly, you are switching tenses so try and stick to one. The things that I've stated down, I suggest you work on those and I believe your writing will get better. 

2/5

[Honest opinion]

I think you should overlook your chapter's before publishing them. While reading I was having difficulties with your writing and the plot. But don't get disheartened with my review. It's good to get back advice, that is how you will improve. 

3/5

[Overall]

I'm sorry to inform you that I won't be continuing with your book.

[Final Score]

13/25