Let Go

Prologue

-Harry-

“You’re lying! You’re lying to me!” I screamed, trying to break free of the security guards who were holding me back, “you’re all lying! Let me see her, please let me see her.”

My voice slowly hushed as I cried. Tears came rolling down my cheek and right in the middle of the hall I emptied my stomach. I’m nothing without her. She can’t be gone.

Once I calmed they let me in to see my beautiful wife dying in front of me; the baby, healthy as ever while my beautiful Chelsea dies from the birth. I wiped my eyes with my stained grey t-shirt that was now wrinkled on each shoulder and stood in the door frame, staring at her for a few moments, taking in her weak body. When my feet allowed me to move again I made my way to her pale skin. 

I took a hold of her hand and held it to my cheek kissing it softly. She still had her black, chipped nail polish that I wish she wouldn’t wear. Out of all the colors she picked black. Just like her make-up, black eyeliner every day.

She’s so cold and her hair wasn’t as lively. She always makes sure it’s a perfect mess. I don’t think she’d be able to lift a brush if she tried now. 

“Chels, please; please baby, open your eyes.”

Her heart beat was slowing down more than when she sleeps. It’s always slow when she sleeps. All I wanted to do was tell her everything we still hadn’t shared. I hadn’t told her how I was the one to steal her cigarettes and throw them away because she has more life to live. I didn’t tell her that I was more than ready for this baby even though I had just graduated high school and she still had a year left. I didn’t tell her that the first time I saw her I loved her even though she thought I just wanted her for sex. But that was okay, she wasn’t going to let me have her that easy.

“Harry?” she whispered to me. My head popped up from her ghostly skin and I got as close as I could.

“Baby, hey, I’m here. I’m here, we’ll be okay,” I tried to tell myself.

She smiled weakly, “where’s Leigh-Anne? I want to see her before I have to go.”

“You’re not going anywhere Chels! You’re staying here with me. I won’t let you go, I won’t.” I squeezed her little hand tighter and wiped my nose against my arm as to not let go of her.  

They told us this could happen nine months ago. He told us it was a risk but Chelsea refused the abortion. She was going to have this baby no matter what. Even if it meant her little body couldn’t handle it.

“Please bring Leigh-Anne, I want to see her,” she lifted her hand and caressed my face. This isn’t real, it can’t be real.

Instead of fighting I called for the doctor to bring in Leigh-Anne. Chelsea wanted a picture and even though she’s on her death bed she swore to God she’d haunt me for the rest of my life if I didn’t smile. I tried my hardest for her, for my love. I wouldn’t mind if she haunted me though, it’d make me happier just to see her even if she was giving me wet-willy’s or pantsing me in front of our friends. She was so mean to me but I loved her for it.  

“Harry, you take care of her, okay? Don’t be a dip shit,” I laughed. If nothing else I’m glad she still has her sense of humor.

“I’m scared Chels. What am I going to do without you? How am I supposed to do this? I can’t live without you.”

My words were more slurred than hers. I rarely cry but this, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. Chelsea has never needed me to protect her. She’s always made sure she could take care of herself but I tried. I always tried my best and I did when she wasn’t paying attention. I can’t now; I’m helpless. There’s nothing I can do to help her now.  

“You’re going to live and love our baby girl. You’re going to make sure she grows up strong like me and you’re going to make sure she doesn’t date boys like you,” I tried to smile as I kissed her all over; listening to each and every word.

“I’m scared Chelsea, I’m so scared.”

“Don’t be,” she cleared her throat quietly as a single tear slid down her face. She’s trying to stay strong for me but I don’t want her to. For once in her life I want her to be just as scared as me.

“But this wasn’t supposed to happen! This isn’t how things were supposed to go!”

She opened her eyes to the best of her ability and she knew the next few words would be her last.

“You can’t plan life Harry. It just happens,” she coughed away from me and I could see the grasp she was hanging on to. Life was slipping from her hands and she won’t last much longer. “So don’t be a pussy and raise her good. I love you H.”

Her eyes closed and just like in the movies the beeping turned into a single tone and the line on the screen no longer looked like a crazy graph. It was a straight, horizontal line.

“No Chelsea! No! Come on baby, I love you, we can do this! We can rule the world, remember? Don’t you remember? You said it! You said we could do it!”

I don’t know how long I sat there; crying in her arms—in her limp arms. It was long but it only felt like minutes. I laid my head against her chest and felt nothing. No heartbeat, no movement, no nothing. My Chelsea is gone, she’s gone and she’s not coming back. My mum and Gemma tried to pull me away. Niall and Liam followed and then when Louis and Zayn couldn’t either they let me stay until it got dark. I lay next to my dead bride until I was forced out by security. I pressed a few kisses on her lips, her hands, and the one spot under her ear that gets her every time. But this time, she gave me no reaction. My Chelsea is gone.

-Aliyah-

“Please go away,” I begged my dad as he leaned against my doorframe. I just wish everyone would leave me alone. What’s wrong with playing my guitar? Am I not allowed to play my guitar?

“Aliyah, you haven’t left your room in a week. I know Daisy is gone but what about the other’s? Are you just going to leave them?”

If only he knew Daisy was the least of my worries. I mean, not completely, I loved her but there’s so much more nobody knows. I ignored him when he sighed, when he rolled his eyes, and when he banged his hand on my desk. Well, I guess that made me flinch.

“Damn it Aliyah! You’re coming to eat dinner with your family; it’s Christmas Eve for Christ sake!” He never curses. I’ve heard him curse one other time and it was for something far worse. He’s a pastor; what else would you expect?

“I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal of it,” my eye contact was brief but also sarcastic; “it’s just another day. Jesus wasn’t even born tomorrow. It was some time during the summer I think.”

Dad shook his head, “if you don’t get down stairs within the next few minutes you won’t ride for a month. And I hate to say it but you need to get over Daisy. She was a sick horse and if she wasn’t put down she’d be in misery. You know that more than anyone else.” His voice was much calmer but his anger was clear. I haven’t been in town to buy gifts or even help set up the tree because I’m selfish. The world revolves around me and I’ve come to that realization so I just let it be.

I flicked my eyes back to him and clenched my jaw. Playing my guitar and riding are the only two things I live for. My horses are my best friends. They don’t give you shit when you make bad decisions and they don’t judge you when you’re down. I graduate soon and when I’m done I have no plans on leaving this farm. I’ll open lessons for children and keep to myself. I’ll even build a little house up on the hill away from my parents but close enough if I really need help. It’ll work; I can start now.