Let Go

Three

“God Leigh-Anne, please stop crying,” I whined into my pillow as she climbed into my bed. Niall got that stupid toddler bed so she’s no longer in her crib. She’s free to get out whenever she wants now.

“Daddy, can we see horsy?”

“Shit,” I mumbled, sitting up quickly. It’s already noon which means she’s missed most of pre-school.  

“Uhm, yeah, let’s take a bath baby.”

I kissed her little nose and picked her up, carrying her to the bath. I turned on the water making it warm and undressed the little munchkin.

“I’m hungry daddy,” she’s forming sentences and it’s unbelievable. Thank god for Gemma or she’d probably be mute.

“Okay, let me grab some cheerios,” I ran to the kitchen quickly and grabbed the box. I set it in front of Leigh-Anne and let her take a few bites as the water got higher and warmer.

“Ready?” she nodded with Cheerio dust on her face and I lifted her in. She was still eating her Cheerios as I washed her body, sitting in the tub. I couldn’t help but laugh. If only Chels could see her doing this; she’d probably scold me for the multi-tasking.

“Are you ready to ride horsy’s today?” I’m sure as hell not. If Niall didn’t know this girl I wouldn’t even go.

“Yeah!” she laughed. I took the Cheerios away and set them down so I could wash her straight hair and scrubbed her like she was a little monkey.

“What does a monkey say?” she made monkey noises like I taught her and scratched her head and armpit with her hands.

These are the times that I remember Chelsea but don’t feel so lonely. I feel like maybe she’s making music with her band or off getting groceries. Or maybe even making us breakfast but really she’s not. I don’t think she’d make breakfast anyways. It doesn’t matter right now though, I have Leigh-Anne. This beautiful child we created together.

After her bath and my quick shower I fed her an actual meal since it’s already one and we headed out. I know we’ll be early for lessons but I guess I have to sign some papers. By the time we’re done with that it’ll be time to ride some horses. Fucking great.

My phone rang as we got into the country side of town and I answered.

“You forgot to take her? What the hell Harry, you can’t be serious!”

“Calm down Niall. I woke up late; I’m on my way now.”

My voice is still a little raspy from the late wake up and rush around the house but I’m almost there.

His voice lowered a bit and didn’t sound as angry but I know he’s still pissed.

“You know it took me a lot to even get her to go yesterday because you weren’t there and now you’re going to be there just before riding? Do you have any idea how pissed Aliyah is? She went out on a limb for you.”

“Well do you really think I care if she’s fu-“ I paused, looking at Leigh-Anne in the mirror playing with her baby doll. “Do you think I care if she’s mad? I’m trying Niall! At least I’m going.”

We pulled into the farm and it smelt like horse shit. I guess that makes sense. Will Leigh-Anne smell this every day?

“I’m here, gotta go.” I hung up my phone and tossed it to the passenger seat before taking in the dirty surroundings.

I stopped in front of some run down building and stepped out. Dammit, these are my favorite boots and now they have mud all over them. I tried to shake it off and unbuckled Leigh-Anne from her car seat.