(not editied!)
James POV.
That was over a 2 weeks ago. I can’t remember exactly what happened but what I do remember is trying to get Sarah out from the fire, I remember her screaming my name and telling me to run and save myself, I wouldn’t listen to her. I remember feeling so tried and it felt like my body was on fire. Then it went black. I suffered some burns. I had in-haled to much smoke and passed out. Somehow I had gotten through the opening I had seen, to a less burnt part of the forest. I woke up in my local hospital a few days after the fire had happened.
People were always asking me if I remembered getting to the opening. But I just don’t know. I tell everyone that I passed out in front of the tree covered in flames, so close to Sarah. The tears that spilled onto her cheeks as she said “I love you” just before everything went black. Nobody knows what to make of it. Some say maybe I was pulled there, maybe Sarah got free. But then again, if that were the case, why isn’t Sarah here.
They also asked about how the fire happened. I told them that we were playing a game to see how long we could have the flame on a bit of leaf before blowing it out. A stupid game. I never thought a game would ruin my life.
Lots of people were angry and called me a reckless teenager. I had caused a fire which killed off a lot of our town’s crop. But most people felt sorry for me because nobody could find Sarah. People admired my bravery for trying to help but I don’t. If it wasn’t for me she would still be here with me. I had pleaded for a search party; they only said she was missing. But everyone told me that no one could’ve survived when they were trapped like she was. I won’t speak to anyone about her. People try to talk to me about her but I just zone out, not wanting to remember her voice as she pleaded me to run. If only I was dead. Then I would be with her.
I was in hospital for two weeks before I was allowed to leave. It seems like a long time. I only had to be in the hospital for a few day from the fire but the day before I was released I tried to commit suicide to be with Sarah. They have had me in hospital ever since. Rhys is fine because he got out quicker than I did. He tried to visit me a few times but I wouldn’t listen to any of his excuses. He ran from us. He just left. If he didn’t leave then maybe Sarah wouldn’t be dead. He’s the one that should be dead. No. I am, I started the fire. Why did my dad have to walk in on me when I was so close to being with her again?
My family stayed with me 24/7. My mum would not leave my side. She was always in tears. When she wasn’t crying she was sleeping by my side. My father came by often with my younger sister, Jade. My father would stand behind my mother, telling her it was ok. He would always ask her to come home and rest properly but she always refused. Jade is 11. She would always bring in get well cards and lots of drawings. My family is still in shock from my suicide attempt. I wish I was dead.
The first time the doctors let me look at the mirror was a couple of days before I was released from hospital. I had burns on my right arm, back and neck. Not that I care. The only thing that upsets me about these burns is the constant reminder of what happened that day in the bush.
I get to go home today. My parents said that all our family and friends were coming over for a party. I saw no need for celebrating, I had just killed someone. I had destroyed our town’s crops. People should not be celebrating. Plus, I did not want to talk to anyone at all. Everyone knew Sarah so well. What if they come up to me and ask about Sarah, how would I respond without breaking down.
My parents have me go to my room to have a shower and get dressed for the big gathering. I slowly walk down the hallway, to my room. I open the door. It is dark. I turn my light on and the brightness hurts me eyes. and all of a sudden a bird with the colour of Sarah's hair flys out of my room. what the hell? oh well. I finally get used to the light. My room is the same but cleaner. I go over to my desk, dropping my hospital bag on the ground. I pick up a photo of me and Sarah. She is kissing my cheek while taking the picture. I’m just looking at her, she was so beautiful. I put the picture down. I walk to my bed and fall onto it. I must’ve been lying down for a while and fallen asleep because I wake up to someone knocking on my door. The door opens slowly and I see Jade’s face behind the crack of the door.
“Hey Jadie” I say, still waking up. She smiles and walks in and sits next to me on my bed. She’s wearing a cute purple dress. Her light blonde hair hangs down to her waist. Her eyes were normally brown, wide and curious. Today they seemed not so wide and not so curious but still a beautiful dark brown.
“You’re still not dressed?” she frowned. She looked like mum when she did that.
“Hmm, no not yet, I guess I fell asleep. Are you ok Jadie?”
“Stop calling me Jadie! I’m not a baby!” she screamed.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. I’m sorry Jadi- Jade.” I sit up and hug her.
“You need to get ready. People will be here soon.” She pushes away from me, jumps off the bed and walks away. What the hell has gotten into her? I groan and get out of bed. My mum has put out some clothes for me on the end of my bed. It is a black shirt and black pants. There is also a black jacket. I sigh and pick up my clothes and go into my bathroom. I close the door and start to get ready for a shower. When I’m in the shower I really notice my burns. They don’t hurt but don’t look too good either. They are small but still there. I’m forever sacred with the memory of the bush fire. I lean against the wall of the shower, letting the hot water run down my body. Why did this have to happen? Why did I have to be such an idiot? Why. Why. Why. Everybody is suffering because of me. I can’t imagine what kind of pain Sarah would’ve been going- no. don’t think of her. It only makes it more unbearable. I should probably get out now. I don’t need to waste the hot water. I get dressed and look at myself in the mirror. I nearly laugh. I look like I’m going to a funeral. I stop laughing immediately. When is Sarah going to have her funeral? She would’ve wanted one.
I put that thought aside; it was time to put on a fake smile. I walk out of the bathroom, hair brushed and fully dressed. I hear people talking already when I start walking down the corridor. Were people really here already? I wonder what time it is. I walk out to the kitchen and see my mum and Sarah’s mum talking. Sarah’s mum. What is she doing here? I’m not ready for this. I must have been standing there for a while because mum asks if I was alright.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just not used to being home again I guess.” I say numbly, shaking my head. Mum frowned and looked like she was about to say something but then the doorbell rang, Stoping her in her tracks.
“Hmm, that’s the guest’s. I will go get the door. James, are you alright here with Carol?” my mum jesters to Carol, Sarah’s mum.
“Yeah.” I simply say. Mum looks at me and back at Carol, and then she walks out of the room to answer the door. I walk over to the fridge and get out a bottle of water. I open up the bottle and start to gulp it down. You know that felling when somebody is looking at you. Well I got that feeling as I was drinking the water. I put the bottle down and look over in Carol’s direction. She was staring intently at me. When my eyes met hers a glimmer of emotion went through them. I think it was pain. Then her eyes went cold. She sat there looking at me, not saying anything.
“Umm… so… how have you been?” I say, urgent to break the silence.
“Don’t pretend to be alright” she spat. I was taken back. This was not the Carol I knew. She was always nice and like a second mother to me. She treated me like a son. But a lot has changed since I last saw her.
I look over at her again, I really looked at her this time. Instead of her cheerful, happy eyes she had dark cold ones. Her dark red hair has now got streaks of grey in it. She has seemed to age a lot. How long has it been since I’ve seen her? Not since the morning of Sarah’s….
Tears fill her eyes, her face breaks it composure. She starts crying. Again I was shocked. What am I supposed to do? I walk over to her and I place my hand on her back, rubbing is softly.
“ummm, Carol?” she weeps even harder. “ahh.. Mrs McHenry? Are you ok?”
She screams. I jump back, startled.
“She’s gone, James! She’s never coming back!” she is crying so much I think that soon we will be sitting in a pool of tears. I reach out and pull her close, I hug her. Her tears make my shirt damp. I repeat “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.”
A/N: hey guys. Im not too sure about this chapter. It just introduces you to his family a bit and what happened after the fire. I really need more reads and comments! and please vote! i dont want to nag but it would really mean alot. if you have any questions, please ask.
