Storm Drains (pennywise love fan-fic) *completed*

Chapter 45

Somebody else- the 1975

I laid awake in bed trying not to grow impatient. I wanted Penny to be here but when it came to him, I never knew when he'd come or not. I sat up in excitement when I heard the familiar sound of bells.

Penny stood at the edge of my bed, looking at me with his calm blue eyes. He looked tired. I felt my heart sink at the realization, his sleep was coming soon.

"Almost?" I said fighting back tears as I looked at him with sadness. He looked back at me, blinking slowly. He didn't have to answer me, I already knew. I felt it in the air.

"You need to feed" he said slowly as he crawled over to me. He picked me up, sitting me on his lap. The usual routine of the lights went on, my body filling with complete bliss but it didn't feel good like the other times. It didn't feel right.

After his face returned to normal, I realized how close we were.

"What will happen to me?" I asked, trying to stop my voice from shaking. He looked at me, his eyes filled with emotions.

"You will stay still, time won't touch you, you'll always stay my porcelain doll" he said as I felt his hands wrap around my back. The way he spoke was filled with sadness, making me grow more nervous.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I felt tears begin to brim my eyes. This was a conversation I didn't want to have, not now, not ever.

"Will I see you again?" I asked as slow tears slipped down my pink cheeks. I was trying not to cry, but my whole body ached at the thought. The feeling and fear of his leaving was heavier and more painful than the heartbreak I had endured.

I wanted to explode into tears, into water, and sink into his silk suit to dry and stay with him forever. I wanted to be the ornaments on his suit, the make up on his face, the gloves on his hands, just to be with him forever. To never leave his side.

"You will see me, I'll be a memory, a remanence" he said with a heavy voice. I wanted to hold onto him, latch on forever. I wanted to go into the deep sleep with him so that I wouldn't have to be without him. I didn't want to be alive and breathing, walking on the earth knowing he wasn't watching me from a storm drain or from a corner in my room.

"Take me with you" I said as I wiped the tears off my plump cheeks. He looked at me, impatience and sorrow in his dusty blue eyes.

"Lola" he said, almost in a scolding manner. I knew it was impossible. I knew the answer but I didn't want to let go. I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

"Soon?" I cried, the tears coming down like an opened dam. My heart was doomed for pain. It always was. The look he gave me was enough to make my heart break.

Soon.

I hadn't realized how tightly I was gripping his shoulders, tension running through my body. The tears silently fell and I couldn't force myself to make eye contact with him. I didn't want to see the broken version of myself reflecting off of them. The color of sky.

"Make me forget" I said, biting my lip harshly to stop my voice from cracking. I wanted to forget. I knew he had the power to do so. I'd rather forget all about him, in order to continue moving forward because even a distant memory of him was too vibrant in my mind. Too vibrant in my soul.

He slid me off his lap, setting me on the bed. I gripped onto his suit, too afraid to let go.

"Please" I said as my head fell forwards, the tears becoming overwhelming. My hand was shaking as I continued to cry. I felt his hand force my head up, forcing me to face him. I looked at him with swollen eyes.