DRAG ME OUT OF HERE ☂ (we don't make music. it makes us)

WANTED: A PLACE WHERE I BELONG (& answers)

                                             WANTED: A PLACE WHERE I BELONG

                                                               AND ANSWERS

If it’s not here where I belong, where should I go?

Every time I think about the future that’s ahead of me , I question myself: “Where do they go? The ones who don’t want the same thing as everybody?” of course we all want more or less the same thing: happiness.

But how about the way you choose to get it? It’s all about the way you choose to live, right? You know, graduate, get into college, get a job, meet someone, and have a family, die. That’s the master plan of them. That’s the plan my mom is following, that’s the plan my dad’s following, and that’s the problem: that’s the plan everyone around me seems to want to follow.

But I can’t take it, I just can’t. I can’t picture myself doing the things they do: I can’t picture myself getting a degree of something I can’t stand just because it'll get me money. I can’t, I refuse to have that kind of life. I don’t want to have any children, I don’t want to marry, I don’t want to live with the ones I was born around, I don’t want to live in this place, I don’t want to live where they think I’m supposed to. Why? Because, can’t you see? Everyone here followed this same path. And they are all miserable.

And I don’t want to have to find happiness just in bed, or on Sundays, or in an expensive meal, or an expensive wine. I want to live a happy life, and not wait till the weekend to do it.

But that, that’s exactly what everyone expects me to be. That's what everyone expects us to be.

They expect me to go to one of the most important universities here. Then, get a job in some miserable place. Meet a bunch of other miserable people there and on the weekend’s parties. Meet a guy who’s got a great job, a great family, a great everything. Buy a great house in a great neighborhood. Marry before I’m 32 and then have children before I’m 40. Put them on the same school I went to, work more time than there are hours in a day, and make them fit into this horrible society we live in. Teach them they have to do the same things we did, live the same life we live. Then, I die. We all do. But death isn't the worst part, it's what you choose to do before that happens.

Me? No. I refuse to live that way. Fuck, that’s the exactly kind of life I don’t want for myself. First of all, I’m not living here. I’m leaving this country because I just can’t stand it: I can’t stand the policy, I can’t stand the way things are done, I can’t stand my family, I can’t stand the school I’m at, I can’t stand the lifestyle I have.

Dammit, I don’t need expensive necklaces for my 15th birthday or fake friends showing up to my party. I don’t want it, and I don’t need it.

I need music.

Music is all I need.

Why can’t they understand it? Is it so hard for them to get it?

It’s the only thing that makes me escape from this place, the only thing that makes me see hope, makes me want to dream, makes me go live the way I want to. It makes me grow so much more than those Math exercises that’ll only help me to get into a good college even though it’ll too make me go insane and miserable…

It saves people. It makes other people feel the same hope I do. It makes me go on, it makes them go on.

And that’s what I want to do for the rest of my life: give people hope, give them an alternative, and give them music.

I just want to find the place where I belong, that is, not here. I don’t belong in these fancy restaurants, this fancy school and fancy parties and gifts. I don’t need that.

God, I just want to find people who think the same as I do, who want the same as I do. Is this just a phase? Is there anybody out there who thinks the same as me? Do you feel alone and an invader in your own family and at where you came from too? If not, are there more from where you came from? I’d really like to meet them.

And if I don’t, if I don’t succeed in escaping from the way they want me to live my life, if I don’t find the place where I belong, God, I’ll go insane.

I know I’ll.