Lament at Changmen Palace

| Five |

—

It all began in the manor of Princess Pingyang.

It was there where you first met Wei Zifu. Back then, I was sitting right next to you.

When that beautiful songstress dressed in colourful silk weaved an enchanting dance for us, your soul was hooked in an instant.

I looked at your hands, which had unconsciously reached out.

I froze, then asked you, was everything fine?

You retracted your hand and said that all was fine.

But you never knew that the expression within your eyes betrayed you.

When the song and dance was finally over, you anxiously asked Princess Pingyang for the name of that songstress.

It was at that moment when I first understood that in the story of love, there existed a word named jealousy.

I was jealous of that songstress, jealous of the way she was able to seduce you. I envied her youth, envied the way she was able to do as she pleased, to use all sorts of tricks befitting her low-born status to gain your favour.

You never knew that I was also an excellent dancer. Better, even, than that songstress.

Except, she danced only to obtain your affections, while I could only dance for myself.

My mother had never allowed me to dance. She said that girls who danced were lowly, and as aristocrats, how could we lower ourselves to partake in such an inferior sport?

So, I had never danced for you.

If I had known then that you would be so easily captivated by a woman who could weave an enchanting dance, I would have abandoned all propriety to dance for you.

That day, I lost my temper with you. Crying as I used hate-filled words in demanding an explanation from you.

If, at that time, you had patted my shoulders, or simply stayed by my side, then perhaps I would have continued to believe that your love towards me remained unchanged.

But you turned and left without a second glance.

You said that I was becoming increasingly unreasonable. You warned me to never forget that you were the Emperor. That the world was yours for the taking.

That night, you returned to Princess Pingyang’s manor.

You spent the night with a songstress named Wei Zifu.

Just like that, you betrayed our promise.