The Two Personalities Of Felix Kjellberg

2 - Getting To Know Him That Little Bit More

It turned six and I saw the young man waiting for me on the table next to the window. Even though it was still bright and the summer sun shone warmly into the room, his curtain was drawn to make a private and secluded section of darkness with him as it's host. I walked slowly towards him in my bright yellow t-shirt and my light blue skinny jeans with my dark blue plimsoles. Ever since I lost 6 stone when I was eighteen I was keen to show off my new size 8 body, it was nice to think that I had kept my 38 DD breasts too, most people weren't as lucky as me and lost their shape, but I was still an hourglass shape apart from my curves being elongated from the lost weight. My sun-burnt orange hair was waved and fluffy, it bounced with each step I took and swayed each time I turned my head like a salsa dancer, free stuff did that to a girl's hair. The young man was wearing a checkered shirt which was a nice blend of sky blue and pure white, his dark brown braces connecting to his beige trousers and his dark brown suede shoes gave him an air of sophistication. His eyes were still a strange dusty grey but the small exposure of sun he'd experienced made them have a stream of blue run through them which made them seem more alive, his smile was wide and welcoming, never dull. His hair was still floppy but seemed somehow more personalised and cared for than when I last saw him after his speech. I approached him carefully, trying not to come as too obviously happy that he hadn't bailed on me, he saw me and he gestured towards the chair in front of him kindly, I was quite glad that he hadn't forgotten our meeting session so I gave him a bright white smile, my golden eyes wide with gratitude.
'I'm glad you didn't forget.' He started the conversation sweetly, I grinned even further in return.
'Me too, you're the only person around here that seems worth talking to!' I stated clearly with my smile still wide. He laughed a soft laugh, it made me glad that I had made this stranger smile with my first sentence. It made me feel safe with him.
'I'm glad someone else is finding this a bit of a drag! I like the idea and all but, uh, I can't help but think that they could have, uh, added some video games or activities to, uh, entertain us!' He stammered through his English but I still got the trace of what he was saying.
'Me too! I can't help but think that a few zombie games here and there or some cosplay or simulator things would make this the most profitable weekend charity has ever experienced! Well done on your £1 million by the way, it's pretty impressive you did it in the first few weeks.' I congratulated him warmly. The man smiled even further, his mouth threatening to split open at any second.
'Thank you, Jenny.'
'You're welcome,' I chuckled and after a few seconds silence I had to confess. 'Look I'm terrible with new names and faces, and for the past hour I've been trying to remember it and I feel terrible for not remembering, but it just won't come to my mind; so;' I laughed quietly again from feeling so awkward and guilty, I started stroking my right forearm with my right hand out of shame. 'What's your name again?' I ended in a shy smile.
'Felix Kjellberg,' Felix Kjellberg extended his hand as he spoke confidently and I shook it, we beamed at each other at the hopes of being good friends for at least the drab weekend ahead. 'It's okay by the way, I only remember your name because it's the same as, uh, one of my character's.' He stumbled through the last part of his speech but I didn't mind, that confession saved me the job of having to ask Felix what his job was, he was an author! I'd always wanted an author for a friend! I leaned forward out of curiosity.
'So what does this character do?'
'Oh, she's a rock but she, ah, she keeps going on diets for me but then I always say how she's too, um, fat and that she's desperate.' I laughed heartily, I'd never met a comedy writer before! I wondered if he had met Russell Howard or anyone else who was considered big in the comic world. We talked some more about him and his interests, he enjoyed playing Horror video games because of the adreneline rush he got out of it, which showed how much we had in common with each other, which surprised me since we were only twenty minutes into our conversation when Felix said more clearly.
'Hey, I don't know anything about you yet.' Felix suggested. I felt my eyes widen and my face go still for a few minutes, but then I knew I had to react, so I felt my face relax in front of my new friend.
'Well there's not much to tell.' I shrugged in response, my life had always been fairly normal in my eyes. Felix leant forward, his grey eyes dancing while the blue glistened in excitement, his smile remained kind and warm, his hair flopped that little more forward while his extravagant fringe threatened to invade the right side of his face.
'There's always something to say about yourself and advice to give to others.' He said helpfully, his smile had done anything but decrease ever since we met and now was no different. I leaned forward to be a few centimetres away from his face and smiled politely with the right side of my mouth, only one eye squinting from the bunched up cheek.
'My life's a bit of a drag, to be honest with you, Felix; uh; can I call you Felix?' Felix laughed a hearty laugh.
'Of course you can! Well if you don't want to say your life's story; how about you go through some, uh, hobbies and likes; like, what education did you, uh, have?'
'Well I was always big on languages. English obviously being the main one,' I waved my right hand at myself and then made both the left and the right join in front of me to let my chin rest on them. 'But then I got bored of learning just German and French, so I learned British Sign Language and I know a couple of curses and insults in Chinese, but then I got bored even more and I decided to find the most out-there language I could find.' I started nervously, I usually bored people with my languages and only ever wanted to hint at how many languages I knew, but Felix seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say.
'What did you find?' Felix asked curiously, an intrigued smile on his face. I smiled back gratefully, no one ever asked when I told them this information and it seemed that Felix was genuinely curious!
'Swedish! It was so interesting and different that I just had to learn the curses at least!' I ended triumphantly, waiting for the questions that didn't come. Instead Felix just looked deep into my eyes and grinned heavily.
'What swears did you learn?' He asked mischeviously. I smiled wide and showed him each one of my teeth, my glee couldn't be hidden from this foreign young man.
'Balle is quite a good one, although I rather enjoy saying Javla Helveta a lot. Oh! And fan! That's a good one for a quick release swear,' I looked at Felix halfway through my new volcabulary and I realised he hadn't asked me what they meant or even insulted me by suddenly not taking notice and he hadn't even repeated after me so that he could learn them. He just sat there. Grinning his slim little head off. That's when the penny dropped for me, the foreign accent, the struggle with English, the use of words that I hadn't heard in years, it finally started making sense! 'You're Swedish, aren't you?' I asked slowly and quietly, feeling rather stupid for only just realising Felix's nationality; even the name "Felix" should've rang alarm bells! Felix nodded and leaned back slightly, careful not to be so far that he wouldn't be encased in the dark, gothic, light. I leaned back with him but I enjoyed the fact that my hair and face became more alive in the bright light so I was seated deep within the warming rays of sunlight for all the world to see.
'Can I just say that your pronunciation is very good! Might I suggest Din inavlade kuksugare, which means 'you inbred cocksucker', that's one of my personal favourites, I use it a lot in my videos but I can't translate it because it's so rude.' I then noticed that Felix might be  a stand-up comedian and not just a writer, this made me excited because it meant I could have a friend who made me laugh for real for a change and who took a real interest in my life.

Felix  looked at the time on his small - yet trendy - watch after we talked and joked about nothing for what seemed like five minutes and his eyes seemed to dull over.
'I have to go, I'm sorry but I'm on a tight schedule; um; where do you live?'
'I live right here in sunny-as-you-like Brighton! Why?' Felix's eyes returned to their natural state of ecstatic and gleaming. He held his right hand out to me, which I realised was rather veiny and muscular, and commanded quickly.
'Give me a pen.' I gave him my minuscule pen and he scribbled some words on a pristine napkin that I could only just make out. An address?
'Why have you given me your address?'
'Well we're friends now, right?' I nodded slowly, still confused.
'I hope so.' I responded hopefully. Felix smiled in return.
'Right, well that means you can visit whenever you like!'
'Oh, thanks Felix! Here's my phone number so that we can text or call.' I suggested and in response he stuck out his palm happily and I wrote my phone number on his soft skin while he giggled. I looked up at him when I was done and raised an eyebrow while smiling slightly.
'What's with the giggling?' I asked with a small chuckle myself, Felix's laugh was so contagious!
'It tickled! Okay, I'll text you soon, I have to go now, it was nice making a friend!' Felix rushed the words out of his happy mouth while he kept looking out of the window, I followed his gaze and saw a few teenage girls gripping notepads with white knuckles, their eyes as sharp as a hawks, their mouths drooling from the anticipation of possibly meeting some celebrity. They looked in our direction and squealed to call their brethren, they sprinted towards the window and started to paw at it heavily, their voices going so high pitched that it went to supersonic, their faces becoming more and more animalistic. I looked at Felix and his face turned white as a sheet, his body language becoming tight and concerned, all of a sudden a camera came out and the teenage girls pointed frantically at it. Just like that Felix was beaming heavily, his whole body changing into some sort of cartoon character, instantly hyperactive, and his eyes were glowing brighter than the sun, becoming fully sky blue now. He waved to the camera frantically to match the eagle's frantic batting of their wings. 'H-h-how's it goin' bros?' He chuckled and then the wolves left Felix alone, glad that they had obtained what they wanted. I supposed that was the price of being a stand-up comedian and comedy writer.
'See you later Felix!' I waved slowly as he set off. He turned his head over his left shoulder and waved quickly.
'Bye!' He rushed out with a smile and sprinted off towards his room, I reeled on the meeting I had just had with the funny, cool, interesting Swede, laughing every now and then at how easy it was to gain his friendship.

After ten minutes I decided to go to my room and relax, I looked down at my phone and realised that the time was 9:00pm! Me and Felix were talking for over 2 hours! As I meandered towards my room, I saw a pack of teenagers and adults murmuring about the PewDiePie speaker. I was ignoring them happily until a red-faced teenage boy pointed a sharpened talon towards me and screamed "THAT'S HER!" The next thing I heard was a *whoosh* of air and all of a sudden I was cornered into the elevator by around 8 teenagers, most of them the girls that me and Felix saw earlier. I was looking down at mascara-covered, red-lipped, spotty faces staring up at me and thrusting their endless questions at me. "How do you know Pewds? Are you a bro? Which room is he in? Where does he live? How long have you known Pewds? Are you replacing Cry? Are you replacing Marzia? What does Cry look like?" Question after question after question, judgement after judgement after judgement. I was thanking the Lord that I didn't believe in when the door finally opened on the top floor, knowing I was most likely going to be followed I pressed three other buttons on the control pad on my way out and the door closed just before the horde could hunt me down into my own room. I collapsed into my bed and my phone pinged. I looked down and it said Unkown, I kept my hopes high and opened the message.
Hey, this is Felix. Just hoping this is your number Jenny.
I grinned and tested back instantly after saving him as a contact and made a mental note to force a contact picture out of him.
Hey Felix, yeah this is Jenny! Why the rushed exit before?
Yeah, sorry about that, my fans can be a bit over the top sometimes.
It's okay, I get that! Want to play "would you rather"?
What's that? 
I would've been shocked that he didn't know what "Would you rather" was, but I excused him because he's a Swede.
Let me start then. Would you rather have boobs for eyes or screaming nipples?
It took a while for Felix to respond and I was beginning to doubt that Felix was as cool as I had hoped. Then my phone pinged once more.
Boobs for eyes, boob-a-scope!
I laughed heavily and then I realised that I had found a best friend - my first ever best friend - in Felix Kjellberg!