In my own little world.

Part One

Part One

Lace sat down in her new hospital bed. “Another one,” she thought to herself.

It was early, 9 in the morning, everyone was still asleep or eating breakfast. It was like time stopped. Like a broken dam, thoughts started to flood and rush her head.

    “Slut.”

    “Bitch.”

    “Loser.”

    “Trash.”

    “Worthless.”

    “Die.”

    “Kill yourself.”

    A voice cut through the silence unpausing time and having the floodgates be repaired. Lace looked to the door. At approximately five foot nine, a tall height for a teenage girl. A whole six inches taller than Lace, a pretty girl with long jet black hair, blue eyes, and pajamas, stood and spoke with a toothbrush still in her mouth. Lace scanned her for a solid twenty seconds before speaking up, “Well...what?”

    The girl standing above her swallowed her toothpaste that was in her mouth. “my bed.” Lace rolled her eyes. She didn’t think of that when she came in. Whose bed was who’s honestly wasn’t the first thing that was on her mind when she came here. She picked up her bag and threw it over to the opposite bed.

    “There’s your bed,” Lace spat, matter of factly. The dark haired girl plopped down and jammed her toothbrush into a small plastic container on the bed side table. She then pulled out a small book that didn’t have a title. Lace paced awkwardly, bored with herself.

    “So...” Lace started, still pacing the room “...you tried to kill yourself? Or...you want to?” The dark haired girl looked stunned, surprised that Lace had just come out and asked such a question, in such a fashion. Her reply expressed her surprise.

    “Look      , I don't know if you've been in a hospital before but...,”

Lace cut her off, “I’ve been in plenty.” The girl brushed it off and continued.

    “Even so, I don’t know you, you don’t know me, and besides, we’re not supposed to talk about that stuff until--,”

Again she was interrupted by Lace, but this timenot by her words but by her actions. She had lifted the left sleeve of her Vans sweatshirt to reveal a row of heavy scars.

    “I stopped after twenty seven. If we’re going to get all lovey-dovey with each other, I want to know I can trust you.” The dark-haired girl was at a loss for words, Lace’s had completely thrown her off guard. Lace slowly pulled her sleeve back and folded her arms, waiting for her roommate to respond.

    A man’s voice called Lace from the doorway, “I’d like to speak to you.” Lace sighed and obeyedwent with him. The two walked down the hall to a small, colorful room, blue and green, with little roses and a sunrise painted on the walls.

“My name is Manny, I am one of the counselors here at the St. Patrick Facility for ChildrenKids.”

    “Mental hospital,” she blurted. “It’s a fucking mental hospital.”

    Manny let our a nervous sigh.

    “Now Ms. Lace, I know this may not be where you want to be right now, but everything you’re feeling, it’s okay to feel. Now, with that said, how are you feeling right now?”

    Lace didn’t answer but instead raised an eyebrow.

    “Have you recently had any desire to hurt yourself?”

    Lace shook her head, but still no verbal responses.

    “Do you feel safe here?”

    She didn’t respond.

    “Okay… do you feel like you would be able to talk with us if you didn’t feel safe?”

    No response.

    “Alright, well we’re here for you when you are ready to talk. Please come to me or any other counselor  if you are not feeling safe...” Manny looked at her, and Lace looked at him. The two studied each other for a moment.

    “You can leave now, the nurse will find you soon to discuss your needs.”

    Lace rose and returned to her room. As she approached the door, she saw the name “Melanie” tacked to it. She reflected that this must be her roomate’s name.

    “Bitch,” she mumbled under her breath before going back in the room. Her body hit the bed as she went face first in the pillow then, making a groaning noise that was muffled, showing her irritation for this place.

“You’re not getting out of here anytime soon with that attitude” Melanie spat.

    Lace looked at Melanie,a flame lit in her belly. She knew this girl was not going to be her friend. Not like she had many, not like she was  here to make any.

    “I don’t like you.” The phrase was delivered so casually.  This made Melanie scoff, as if that was supposed to affect her in any way.

    “I don’t care,” her roommate replied. Melanie said.

    “Perfect, please try to refrain from talking to me, looking at me, being around me, breathing my air, and being a cunt. I know it’s a tall order, especially the not being a cunt part thing, but if you’re as good at following orders as you are at pissing me off, it shouldn’t be that hard.”

    Melanie rolled her eyes, got up and left the room.

    “Already off to a perfect start,” Lace said to herself.