The streets unfortunately raised me
Defeat the childhood he gave me
Unswered prayers make the soul become weak
Confused on why he still hasn't save me
Dubiety
I've dreaded a majority of them nights
and lost
a majority of those fights
and now
the lack of assurance and uncertainty for some odd reason feels all right
my brain
is being consumed by the past-to the point I can no longer think
my body is conditioned to pain
And happiness in a life like mine is embedded to be extinct
heart broken
innocence stolen
the world upon my shoulders
I can no longer bear this weight
walls decaying and deteriorate
like these bodies 6 feet underneath
or like the hurt lost battered woman like me
so I ask him once again
why am I still here
Thought time would heal the pain as I got older
Try not to feel so vain to gain some closure
Every void I try to fill it
Every path I run with patience
But the the thoughts they're just so vivid
Make me forget which way I'm going
Emotions all over over the place
Multiplying until I'm emotionless
I motion less , still can't forget
I try locking out the madness only for it to pick the locks
I've tried running from anxiety only for it to block
Me in
By locking forces with worry , sadness , nightmares , and bad memories
Combining into one throwing thoughts of dreary , making me feel so dreary ,
But I keep going
It just seems every sidewalk I walk down every building I pass , every corner I turn , ever shadow that's creeping is just a chance for you to jump out and grab me ,
My thoughts and emotions consume me I've been running for so long I don't know when this feeling will ever subside y legs weak from running from fear trying to hide
Simultaneously searching for happiness but she's seems to be vacant
And quite frankly I'm tired of searching
Because no good comes with opening closed doors when you don't know what is behind them
Opened one door and insanity came out from hiding
I tried to cover up the wounds
But like Pandora's box they just keep coming
Different situations thrown at you
One after the other
I️ feel like I'm covered in a debris that is unwashable
Some times I️ need time to think
Cause sometimes my mind just overthinks
Waiting for this feeling to subside
Roll up my pain light the vain and get high
Plenty weed , Henessey , give me a feeling where I️ have no feeling ,
You see the way time flys I️ try not to regret , I️ try to forget ,
But like like a addict for some odd reason my mind keeps feining
For those thoughts that wake me up have me feel like I'm bleeding only to be drenched in sweat
And for some odd reason these past couple of nights the same scenes keep repeating
This time I'm not asking why , I️m asking for forgiveness , accept my apology so that I️ can live relentless ,
I️ feel alone is there anyone who understands what I️ am Saying
