I ponder. I always ponder. I ponder of something great. I ponder of something less great. It all just a whirl wind of emotion. Being pulled back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. I tears me apart.
I've had a rough life so far ,I'm not saying you haven't but hear me out.
Yeah surely i survive my day to day life , but in the long run I'm screwed. Yes i struggle ,but don't we all?
Of course! Yet some struggles are "bigger".
Take me for one. I've been beaten ,abused , harassed and verbally abused my entire life but i still get up for school every. Single. Day.
I slap on my fake smile and pretend my life is perfect. Why wouldn't it be I'm just an avarage kid ,nothing speasial.
I've hidden behind my fake smile forever when behind it I'm broken. Broken to the point of no return. Every day i contimplate if i should or shouldn't. Should i make my leap of faith or should i stay another day.
This is my daily struggle and i hate it. I hate the fact that i have to be here.
I wish i wasn't born. Thats all I've been wishing for since my 6th birthday.
I don't want to be here.
