deisay's RANTS

high school

hey hermosa's. ❤️

for some reason, I've been thinking of my life lately - my teenage years mostly, and decided to share my high school experience with you all.

I know that a lot of you are actually in high school and may need or not need help to survive. I gave some advice a couple months ago, but didn't really fully share my story.

if you're interested, continue reading. (long rant ahead)

high school was a place were I tried to make the years count. I went to school almost everyday, did my work, respected my teachers, and made a few peers.

to be honest, I am a very shy person. I could never bring myself to be loud or all that outspoken in high school because I feared of getting bullied. I was a low-key person, and still very much am. I always needed one person to bring the spark out of me.

back then, I didn't know how to defend myself the way I do now. so I never tried to start problems or make enemies. I went to school, and minded my buisness.

I did have a circle of friends I hung out with and if anything, that circle got larger as the years went by. I became more social around my junior year and was meeting more people, even being more open in my classes.

it felt as if I was having the time of my life because of all the fun I was having and all the places I went. it felt as if I knew just about everyone who was in my grade and considered all of them friends.

boys were people I never worried too much about. I had plenty of guy friends, but I never had a boyfriend in high school. now that I think of it, it's like the boys I did talk to kind of claimed me as their property. they always had their presence around me.

my freshman year, I tried out for the drill team because I felt as if it was mandatory to be in some type of club. every girl I knew was doing it, so I did.

one day after practice, I asked one of my friends who also tried out, if she wanted to go watch the baseball team practice. we were already on the football field, so we just walked over to the baseball field.

one particular guy noticed me and waved to us, yelling - from the field - that the baseball team finally had fans. we left shortly afterwards and after we were done packing our bags, waiting for my friend's mom to pick us up, this guy found me and began talking to me.

he told me his name, told me about himself, and began asking me questions. when my friend's mom finally came, I learned he was Colombian and that he was a senior.

when I told him I was only a freshman, he didn't blink an eye. but I was happy that he was Colombian - I'm Colombian.

facebook was popular back then, so he sent me a friend request and jumped into my messages. he was liking all the hideous pictures I posted and would write on my wall, saying that I was "hands down the hottest freshman" and was impressed that I loved baseball.

and I admired it. I thought I was the HBIC. I got a senior to call me cute. I got a senior to notice me.

I began meeting up with him before school in the hallways and he would introduce me to all his friends who were not just on the baseball team, but on the football team and basketball team as well. he was popular, and he was making me popular.

I would walk the halls when the bells rang and would always have an upperclassmen telling me hi everyday. the senior girls would glare, but wouldn't say anything. but I always kept my head down around them.

soon, this senior boy was picking me up from my house to take me to school and dropping me off. sometimes, I would even go with him when he invited me to tag along wherever him and his friends were going.