“Hey”
“Hey”
“Hey”
After five hours of ignoring Juan I slam my head into the desk in defeat.
“What in icecreams good name do you want?” I growl out taking swipes at his obnoxiously large hair.
“Hi” Juan states with a small wave. I swear if he wasn’t my bestfriend since the womb I would have chucked him off a cliff by now. But since he is, I couldn’t do it… could I? No no that kind of behavior is frowned upon in society.
Obviously they’ve never met Juan before.
“… And then the bear came out of nowhere. Well not nowhere. I’m sure he had a father and mother who dated and got married and then had him. Who am I kidding he’s probably illegitimate. How sad.” Juan exclaims jumping from idea to idea not paying any mind to the fact that I wasn’t paying attention. Only stopping when a book falls from a bookshelf a couple of feet away from us.
“AHHH!!! Josie ghost” Juan screams from a top of a table, a chair in front of him as a shield.
“It’s not a ghost. It’s me Lord Voldermort” Voldermort hisses in that slow voice of his.
“AHH!! A ghost of a snake! With a really bad nose job.” Juan shrieks throwing handfuls of rocks at Voldermort.
“What the… STOP THAT YOU IDIOTIC MUGGLE! BOW DOWN TO MY SUPERIORITY!!” Voldermort responds childishly sticking out his surprisingly normal tongue out at Juan.
“I think I’m just going to go” I say warily backing out of the room with my hands up in surrender.
“YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING LITTLE GIRL” Voldermort bellows in rage.
“First of all we’re inside a library so use your inside voice. Second of all little? So you’ve notice I’ve been working out!! Finally someone sees the effort of me not eating jelly doughnuts and cactus cooler soda.” I gush in gratitude, twirling around to show off my new figure.
“I will not stand for this nonsense” Voldermort says in a quieter voice raising the sleeve of his dress or ‘robe’ and pressing a mark on his arm.
“Oh my cheez-its! You have a tattoo. How extremely manly! I have one to.” Juan squeals rolling up his sleeve to show his rainbow unicorn temporary tattoo he got at the county fair by a suspicious man by the name of Mac.
All of the sudden a whoosh of black cloaks encircle us. Turning into a group of oddly dressed men (or at least I think there men, I mean one had luscious blonde hair) kneeling down.
“My lord” bows the blonde cross-dresser.
“Lucius my most faithful and fabulous follower” Voldemort answers suddenly wearing a long, wavy weave.
“Hey! Where’s my jerky” Juan whines throwing himself onto an unsuspecting elderly woman that was passing by.
“Girl I stole it!” Lucius snaps his fingers in a Z formation bobing his blonde terresses.
No one even noticing the old woman groaning in pain. Juan going even further as to use her as a ladder top get back on top of the table.
“Back to what I was saying. I called all you hoes up so we can plan my takeover. I’m going to be like Tabitha and take over this whole fudging world” Voldermort tell all his followers laughing evilly.
“Juan we can’t let them get away we this” I whisper ,well more like yell, at Juan.
“Your right we have to save all the tacos and mail men in the world” Juan nods determined.
“Umm… You do know we can hear you right” A follower with not nearly as shiny hair as Lucius says giving us the stink eye. I guess I said that last bit about his hair outloud.
“Err.. what? We were talking about global warming and lima beans. What you talking ‘bout Voldy” I spit out.
“You should join the dark side Juan and Josie” Lucius suggests, wiggling his eyebrows at Juan.
“Absolutely not” “Never” Both me an Juan shout in disgust.
“We have cookies and a wonderful dental plan” Not shiny hair follower bribes.
“Well when you put it that way… SURE!!!” I oblige running to said dark side with Juan. To celebrate Voldermort whips out cookie from under his er… robe. Munching along we all chat about iguanas and grapes happy as can be.
No one realizing the old woman getting up and reaching into her bag to pull out…. CATS!
“DIE ALL YOU DARN HOOLIGANS! ATTACK MY KITTIES ATTACK!!!” She does a loud battle cry before launching her rabid cats at us.
Then we all die… THE END!!
