My Only Purpose (Currently Unavailable)

Chapter 1

The very first thing I did in my new life was cry; don't all newborns? I came out of my mother crying as hard as my little lungs would allow. My arms were thrashing and my eyes were squeezed shut, blocking out the bright hospital lights. My father cheered and the nurse cooed, calmly trying to quiet my wails. They quickly got to work, cutting the cord and wrapping me up. I was soon handed to my mother who let out a little cry as I was put in her arms. She stroked my arm and whispered how beautiful I was. My father cried, hugging my mother and all of the family that had gathered to watch my birth. Several days later my mother was released and we left for home as a new family.

My parents decided to name me Felicity, French for 'Great Happiness.' They held me like I was made of porcelain, as fragile as a flower. My pastel pink room was covered with toys and dolls, supplied by my grandmas and many aunts.

My toddler years were filled with fun and excitement. I was given toys, candy, anything to make me happy. taking my first steps. I remember tripping and falling a lot, once down a flight of stairs on my way down from our top floor apartment. My parents were always very generous, buying whatever I pointed at and only smiling when I presented my 'art' on the kitchen wall.

When I began my teenage years, I went through a rebellious stage. On the night of my thirteenth birthday, I threw a fit when I didn't get what I wanted. Now, as I look back at that fond memory, I can only frown when I remember how easily my parents gave in and took another trip to the store. My next birthday, I was a little more reserved, only showing surprise and happy emotions when I received my brand new bike.

Two days later, I crashed it into a tree and wrecked the whole front. There goes another birthday.

This year, my seventeenth birthday, I got an assortment of makeup, hair accessories, and a new phone. I lied through my teeth when I told my parents I loved it. What I had wanted was a laptop or a library or something to help me find out more about this world. Maybe if I learn a little more, I can discover where to find my purpose.

My first boyfriend is another story: he kinda freaked out and broke up with me when I told him my parents wanted to meet him. My second happened almost the exact same way. Now as I have grown older, I'm not looking for love. Not anymore.

I am so close to finding my purpose that I can almost taste it. By this I mean that I am so far away from achieving my goal that I don't know where to even begin looking. I've tried going to the library and researching the topic. I've tried talking to my parents (they offered therapy). I don't know where else to look. My sources are pretty limited considering my age.