spring day :: jinseob

02

The beginning of spring brings back a lot of memories.

Spring makes him think of late nights spent out at 24-hour diners, sitting on the sidewalk and huddled in thick coats under yellow streetlights, and kisses shared in between conversations. Spring makes him think of cherry blossoms falling on top of the other's head and blushing cheeks and early morning and sunset walks.

Spring makes him want to curl up in a ball underneath his blankets and not go out of his house anymore so he doesn't have to think of the memories.

Hyungseob hates the beginning spring, maybe not more than he hates the bitter taste winter has left behind, but he hates it, nonetheless.

Spring, new life.

Spring, however, has Lim Youngmin come to his cold apartment in the middle of the day with his boyfriend, bringing a large bouquet of bright pink flowers and dragging Hyungseob out from underneath his blankets, saying that they have to go visit the other man that day.

"Well, at least, come out with us to get some sunshine, you don't have to come see him if you don't want to." Youngmin's boyfriend, Donghyun, says with a small smile and it causes Hyungseob to peek out from underneath the pillow on his face. He sees Donghyun shoot a sharp glare at Youngmin before smiling at Hyungseob once more.

That's exactly what makes Hyungseob throw off all his blankets and grab a thick coat from his closet after stuffing tons of hotpacks in his satchel. He doesn't forget to place the glossy photo frame face down on his desk and to place the thin silver band lying underneath his pillow in his coat pocket. He never forgets that.

Hyungseob lets Youngmin drive them all towards a place near the countryside, and he waits inside the car as the pair of them get off with the bouquet of flowers. Once again, Hyungseob folds himself into a ball in the backseat of Youngmin's car, hugging his knees and shutting his eyes tight to close out all the memories from flooding back because of him being in such close proximity to the other boy.

Then, it all happens way too fast.

His heart suddenly beating faster and he suddenly can't breathe. His small breakfast from earlier in the day is rising in his throat, his head in spinning and he feels like he's going to be sick. Hyungseob reaches out to grab at the lever on the car door to roll down the window and let in some air. He gulps in large amounts of the chilly air, rubbing his chest gently as he shuts his eyes.

Moments later, after his breathing has already leveled out, he can hear Youngmin and Donghyun's voices from the distance, the wind carrying the sounds to his ears. Another two minutes later, Donghyun peeks in from the open window.

"Hyungseob-ah, are you okay?"

Donghyun sounds genuinely worried and as Hyungseob opens his eyes, he sees Youngmin peeking over Donghyun's shoulder and looking just as concerned for him. Again, he just nods, says he's okay, because that's what he has to be.